finally.. time to blog.. a biggg thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday on the 28th! okay.. I seem have very long thank-you-list so let me just say something to two other pple first..

to timothy, happy belated 14th birthday on the 25th!

and to Natalie, a very happy 16th birthday today.. *grins* now ur getting old too! wahaha.. yeah believe it! I’m a WHOLE two days older than u! ahaha..

okay now for my thank yous.. haha.. a big thanks to carol, soph, nessa, touty n cheryl for the cake! *yums* really didn’t suspect anything.. haha.. so shocking.. haha.. sorry that there wasn’t much of a response from me.. haha.. was just.. *laughs* overcome with emotions.. ahaha.. yeah.. really thankful for such thoughtful friends.. although.. haha.. I kinda got cheated so many times.. haha.. gosh.. touty is pro at it manz.. soph and all too.. haha.. was so shocked.. haha.. feeling a bit stupid now though.. haha..

okay then thank you everyone who wrote on the card.. haha.. so interesting.. haha.. special thanks so jean for compiling everything.. haha.. n I still haven’t gotten over the heart attack that I got from seeing mrs low’s wishes there.. haha… seriously unexpected.. haha.. pleasant surprise though.. haha.. yeah.. a big thankiew!

to wanli, touty, marilyn n cheryl.. thanks for the presents.. haha.. still finding the moving sushi super amusing and all.. haha.. thanks though! haha..

whee~~ nat! thanks for the 12 tarts.. they were super nice.. only had a bit of a refrigeration problem that’s all.. haha..not much of a prob.. not much at all.. *laughs* mmm.. n thanks for the kangaroo thing as well.. haha.. kit k..

rae hui!!! thanks for the oversized england tee! haha.. so cool! haha.. whee~~ big thanks for that.. dun forget tennis! aft the prelims of sth.. haha.. I still wanna play..

mum and dad.. thanks for the new hp! whee~~ finally! radio! so happy.. cam too! haha.. :D 6610i is so much nicer than my previous one! Haha.. :)

okay.. and finally, a biggg thank you to everyone who wished me a happy b’day yeah.. hope that I didn’t miss anyone out! thankiew!

i don't know why but i feel as if i've finally seen the light today.. feel as if i'm actually beginning to believe in myself.. believe that i can do it. that i can accomplish what i want if i just put in some effort into what i do.. if i just put my mind and soul into working towards what i want i may actually be able to make it happen. if i just have a little faith in myself. if i just believe.. the prelims are coming up real soon and i'm totally unprepared.. the more i should put my faith in god and hopefully in my own abilities as well.. maybe i'm not as stupid as i think i am.. maybe it's just my defination of stupid.. no one is stupid.. it's just a matter of how u define stupid.. maybe that's what's been pushing me down all the time.. what's been making me think that everything is impossible and that i cannot achieve that i want. maybe it's really true that there's no such thing as impossible because impossible spells i'm possible..

well.. i suppose that it's a good sign that for the entire section a and b w/0 the essay thing for the chem june o level paper, i've only lost a total of 4 marks which is dead impressive.. first time in my entire life that i've already secured at least an a from only two section.. praying that our actual chem paper will be like that.. haha.. hopefully yeah.. feel quite enlightened for physics too after mrs tang clarified some doubts that i've been having for a long time.. hopefully that'll give me an a again as well.. geog's doing fine too..especially without studying.. i suppose what i'm getting is like of a fluke so yeah..

anyway main point is that if i can accomplish all of that without much effort being put in, why shouldn't i put in more effort and accomplish much more.. must i wait for a major awakening?! like the one during the sec2 mid years, whereby i nearly failed a couple of subjects, to actually do something about it? must i always rely on some major catastrophy to wake me up so that i'll actually put in some effort into the things i do?! obviously not! everyone has choices.. so do i.. it's a matter of making the right decisions.. and having the discipline and the perseverence to do it.. that's obviously what i seen to lack of..

but i really should try.. even an attempt would be good right.. if i don't try, i'll never know what was install for me.. if i don't try, i'll never accomplish anything.. just like what connell; my obs instructor said to me.. a ship in the harbour is safe.. but that's not ships are built for.. or something.. i think that he's right.. i should go out there and try! take risks! i shouldn't just keep within my comfort zone all the time.. venture out.. be different.. basically i should put in more effort into the stuff i do.. and discipline.. i really need that.. trust in god.. very important.. praying that god will show me the way.. show me the light.. as i embark on this journey to who knows where.. god bless..

okay today.. let me see.. i've decided that i'm definately going to retake chinese.. hoping to get a distinction this time round.. really hope that i'm making the right choice this time round.. especially considering the fact that i've barely started studying for the rest of the subjs.. yeah.. seriously praying that i'm making the right decision.. putting all my trust in god now.. hoping that he'll show me the light.. the right path to take.. and i pray that he'll help me to get over this.. i'm putting all my trust onto you now god.. please please please show me the light! *sigh* i really hope that this is the right path to take.. *big sigh* oh wellz.. i shan't change my mind now that i've made it up.. i have to do it.. and it must turn out the way i want it to.. i can't afford another screw up.. nope.. ot another one.. no thanks.. *sigh* didn't attend any classes.. went with soph after school to macs... ahaha.. supposedly to study.. but oh wellz.. haha.. let's just say that it was pure fun! ahaha.. :D should do it again! so fun! haha.*grins* oh wellz.. yeah nothing much left to say! haha..

what the hell can i say about today.. i really don't know whether i should laugh at myself or to just break down into tears. the chi o level results.. not up to par at all.. i mean like what the hell?! i NEED my a1 for chinese manz.. but wtfh.. 100% pass.. but.. stupid main compo.. cause of all my despair.. now i'm quite certain that i have to retake it again.. really want my distinction for chinese k.. but i reall don't know if i'm making the right decision.. i mean like retaking the entire exam just because i read a simple compo question wrongly sounds totally stupid don't you think?! super retarded.. especially considering the fact that i have to re-learn everything just for a compo?! downright retardness.. why was i so careless?! never happened before...

what a great time to start.. the weirdest thing is that when i looked around, i realised that in other classes, people are like overjoyed to get the grade that i got.. but look at me.. trying my best to fight the tears.. i mean like who are the happier people?! the irony.. i mean like it's kind of hard to accept all of this considering that well i did use to take higher chi in pri sch.. i don't usually see grades like this right.. urggh.. ss didn't help at all either.. never gotten a just pass grade before for source based.. i mean like hello.. i came here with history as my forte.. what's happening to me?! somebody answer me! why are my grades slipping so badly?! why why why?! i really don't know.. life's so screwed up.. i really don't know what to do anymore.. don't know what to think.. i really don't know... wtf does everyone want from me? wth do i want from myself?! what do i really want from life?! the answer is that i really don't know.. my mind's in a mess. .my thoughts are in a mess.. what am i doing?! arggh..

anyway, away from that, that daniel zhang guy came to our sch today to perform for the sec2s and 3s.. yeah anyway there's always a silver lining in the cloud right.. and it came in the weirdest fashion.. it came in the form of the o level english oral?! yeah.. somehow, it was not half as bad as i had imagined it to be.. it was actually.. well.. fun.. yeah.. fun.. what a term to use.. i sound crazy but yeah.. seriously.. i never thought that it would actually feel good to talk to oral examiners.. so much better than that of those giving the chi oral... but i suppose it was quite hard in the beginning to compose myself for the oral considering all the shake ups i had had prior to it... now i can only hope that my eng would be able to do miracles.. and pray hard that my chi will do better the next time round.. it'd better.. but considering the timing, i really don't know.. don't know what's in store for me.. don't know what to do.. let time and fate decide it.. i'm now officially out of reach...

Happy 39th birthday Singapore!!!
and to all singaporeans out there, happy national day!!!
yeah and although i know that he won't read this, thanks PM Goh for guiding us through so many years!!! for all your dedication and believe in singapore. thanks a lot! and to then incoming pm mr lee hsien loong, i believe that you'll do a excellent job in governing singapore in the near future. yeah.. thirty nine years we have survived. stood together through out thick and thin. people thought that we would not be able to make it on our own. but we did. with the people and the government all united as one, pushing towasrds the same goal of a prosperous society, we grew and grew. altough 39 years is a considerably short period of time, we have shown that we are amongst the best and together, we can only hope for the better because together we make a difference. okay okay.. so i'll just keep it short and sweet.. so have a very very very happy national day everyone! god bless!!! :)

just got back from cip.. yeah manz.. 3hrs45mins.. *sigh* why not just give 4hrs? haiz.. haha.. dead tired from all the moving around.. oh wellz... it wasn't that bad.. haha.. quite fun.. yeah.. went for hazel for that.. erm.. went to the arcade before that and met sam chui, sandra, rach and all cos they were going to watch some movie.. haha.. realised that i suck big time at arcade games.. i die within minutes.. hazel on the other hand, was the first for the bubble game thing.. haha.. so sad right.. the big contrast between me and her.. yeah.. haha.. then we met emilyn, corina and aline whilst going to eat.. haha.. yeah..quite shocking.. ahaha.. erm okay as for the day, so many people ponned school!!! *wails* i so wanted to as well.. haiz.. haha.. the mass ahem sucked.. could hardly hear anything.. and the priest was well psychotic.. singing like crazy.. okay so maye it's a little exaggerated but yeah.. hahaha.. then the concert was almost as bad.. the sun was shining so immensely on us k.. and then they were.. don't know what they were doing larhz.. haiz.. so hot.. and it was super short for once.. that's supposed to be good btw.. so yeah.. haha.. oh manz.. i realised that the english sucks.. just so tired.. can't really think now.. haha.. okay that's it.. enough of crapping from me.. cya...

oh manz.. today.. haiz.. nothing to say.. waited so long for the 851 bus to come to take me to bugis.. then i realised that it didn't go to the specific part of bugis that i wanted to go to.. worst of all, when i got to the place that i wanted to go, i realised that two other buses; 960 and 133 went directly to that place.. so infurating manz.. oh wellz.. now i know.. and then when i was going back hm, i was wondering what bus route i should take since there is no direct bus home..

decided to take the mrt instead as it was a safer bet. wrong choice.. once i got there, i realised that i knew how to get home from there by bus.. arggh.. i don't seem to be making much sense but yeah.. so irritating.. argghh.. didn't sign the form for the tchers day thing.. jus thanded it in.. realised that i should have given something.. but clever ol me put a no to everything there cos i was in a rush to hand it up.. :( blah..

yeah forgot to study for today's ss test as well.. like wth.. totally forgot manz.. arggh.. didn't get the chi o level result thing today either.. yeah.. kind of screwed up the ss thing.. haiz.. whatever manz.. only a math was okay cos at least i could do stuff.. *sigh* what's with me and my totally lousy luck these days manz?! yeah and i realised that i really suck at bio.. should have dropped it or something if i was allowed to right? blah.. i don't like bio!!!

argghhhhh.. so irritating... the chem pract sucked.. the stupid carbon dioxide gas.. kept excaping.. like wth manz.. so exasperating manz.. blah.. then the phy test had an extra half an hr.. realised why after handing the paper in. i had done the graph thing.. but i didn't answer the questions that followed.. no wonder.. then i didn't have time to change the ans for another qn that i realised that i calculated wrongly only like less than a min before we had to hand in the paper.. a bit the late right.. so i couldn't fin it larhz..

so irritating.. esp considering that i had so much time left over.. oh wellz.. at least i spotted a biggg mistake that could have caused me an ENTIRE page worth of marks.. hmm.. we're supposed to get our chi o level results tomorrow or something.. hope i don't do too badly.. *sigh* i have a feeling that i would definately have to redo the paper or something.. kind of screwed it up or something right so yeah.. so saddening.. yeah the english oral thing is coming up soon as well. i hate oral.. but oh wellz.. i suppose i would ave to think more realistically on that day itself? haha.. aiya.. whatever manz.. i'll only do what i have to do on the day itself yeah..

oh yeah we're encouraged to wear some red top or something for friday's national day celebration.. *sigh* no idea as to what to wear.. don't wanna wear jeans.. don't like it.. but i suppose.. there's not much of a choice anymore right.. :'(

argghhhhhhhh... lousy day k.. first period.. chi.. didn't bring the worksheet.. then eng.. we were like let of at least 10 mins late for recess.. a math.. didn't know what the hell was going on.. totally screwed for the relative velocity crap... arggh.. then phy.. had some phy test in which i didn't study for at all.. like arggh.. then we had chem.. *shakes head* the worst manz.. erm like got partially scolded for talking to cheryl.. like half the class was doing something else anyway.. *rolls eyes* she keeps going keep quiet when all you are doing is to explain some chem stuff that she ATTEMPTED to explain but pple don't understand right.. sometimes ah.. she ah.. always qing hong zhao bai onez.. arggh.. fine then.. *rolls eyes* so much for chem lessons.. piece of shit larhz.. eng also.. got called up for some pict oral thing.. like wth.. and the pic was like the most stupid, unreadable, ununderstandable and like don't know what shit kind of pic.. like.. haiz.. totally nothing to say that kind.. to hell with it manz.. yeah.. *shakes head*haiz. now, it's some cip thing too.. supposed to be submitted by friday or something... like erm.. not even six? cos we've only doing that one flag selling thing.. did some in church at the start of the year.. and end of last year.. does that count?but that'd be so weird.. to suddenly ask for the hours after so many months that is.. pple would have already forgotten about it by now.. so yeah.. haiz.. this is such a screwed day manz. argghhhhhhhhhh