extreme disappointment. that's all i have to say. really disappointed by today. and i know that i'm definately not the only one so disappointed. sigh. the junior com never fails to surprise us. and today we were dealt with our ultimate suprise. totally no comments. so so disappointed. now i know what human politics really is about. now i know how popularity wins the rest. now i know how people can't make rationale decisions. now i know what a power struggle is. sigh. so disappointed. and we thought they were improving. i see we were wrong. just when we thought that we had put enough into them to realise what they were lacking of and what they need... we get this kind of rubbish. i came to realise now that capable people are always not necessarily elected. all you have to have is popularity. or to mix with the right people and psycho or brainwash them that you're a really good person and you'll get the positions you want. sigh. we shrunk the com. it's small enough. and now the capable people are not in the exco while the not half as capable people are.... sigh. honestly i think both vice capts are crap. we all agree. the capable ones weren't chosen. damn sad la. cannot believe we let it go through like that. the com is horrible. even people very against someone at the start at the end became the most pro-that person. cos he's capable motivating and cares for others. period. we agree that the sports sector will die. i mean like just look at who's succeeding us as sports capts and vice capt sports. how many people who will actually do work properly. i can count with my fingers. at most 1 or 2. seriously next year when i come back i can expect us to be last for every sporting arena. and house function i wonder what's going to happen. sigh.very sad. our sports captains mostly all the will clash and argue with each other... and will not be there people. sigh. okay la. i shouldn't say anything. just super disappointed with the elections. and disappointed with what happened there after. when all the juniors pangsei-ed us. didn't care about us and all... all that kind of stuff again. some kind of respect. i suppose quite a no of us feel it so hard when the postings were done cos it's horrible and we know the com will fail. horrible when we've put in so much time and effort to help keep beta at that standard and we dun wanna see everything we've done just go down the drain like that. i dun know. really sad. sad that the com seems so screwed. sad that i feel as if everything's a waste. feel as if i'm really stupid. really stupid to have spent so much time on hc if it was going to get screwed up anyway. sigh. really sad. maybe just maybe they can prove to better. we'll be waiting for them to earn our respect. for now i feel as if i really need to start studying after all the time wasted. we love 13th beta hc. sigh. =(

hc camp's over. i miss my house com. we're full of crap. i realised wherever we go... beta hc will make the place very noisy and full of crap. our debrief was the best. caw caw caw... haha omeg we're so full of crap. the camp was pretty disappointing lar. a lot of chao keng one. a lot of leeways here and there. but yet... haiz. and super disappointed with attitudes here and there la. shall not elaborate. had this long long debrief and thrash out. hope it does much good for the junior house com. maybe they'll be a bit more bonded next time round. anyway this year's shirt okay lar. not too bad. though i like black shirts, this white shirt not bad lar. i just wished that hc elections and camp could have been more formal and strict-like last year. oh well. dunno. let's hope so. elections for posting soon. hope they choose wisely

thurs was inflammable... like finally. we were so worried that it'd rain that we even set the wet weather plan as the no one priority if the weather looked threatening. the weather forecast didn't help either. said that it was going to rain. but hey though the thunder and lightning came, there was no rain! haha so it went along. so happy la. the function was okay la. not all that great. very scaled down from what was previously planned because of the problems from the last time we tried. oh well. but nonetheless quite impressive considering all the constraints we faced =) haha and not bad we're the first house to pull off a major house event without a band. hahaha. why are we so prooo! lol =p not bad la. =) and finally managed to solve all the adventure tower stuff just before the event itself so yeah quite happy that it ended up quite okay and properly done. haha. oh. right. some guy scared me though. was offering them the happy food ma. then there was this guy who kept insisting on wanting to er personally feed me one of the sweets. then i was like it's okay... then he was like c'mon la then after that i dance the cannibal king with with you k. omg haha i was a bit the freaked out but cannot show it ma. so just haha it's okay then walk off. haha scary scary. hope it doesn't happen again. haha. anyway it rained right after the last song finished playing and the food reception started. so lucky. so run off to get all the equiptment in. haha how ept. started off our first function with rain and finally end with the major house function ending with rain also. haha really aquesous. the water house. we literally bring in the rain all the time. haha. but fun la. glad that we pulled it off without the rain. no complaints =) oh man. during the preperations zhi zhan told me that i became more girly. really meh. is that good or bad. the way it sounded it sounded bad. oh no. how now. heh. hahahahaha... oh well. but still happy that all the tying of the fire structure, soaking and drying stuff in kerosine, tying of tripods and banners... and all the fire stuff didn't go to waste. thank goodness it didn't rain =D

some people can just be so.... arggh. forget it. i've absoultely nothing to say.

elections today =) i like. haha. so interesting can. pap won again. good good. i like. haha. and the two opposition candidates i like got their constituencies as well. very good =) damn didn't manage to catch a proper rally. especially one by the opposition party... the pong pasir or hougang one. damn. next time round. haha. probably can vote by then.. -grins away- hahaha... oh well anyway went to ms lim's house for the baby shower. sooo cute can the baby.. ahaha. then went orchard to er supposedly go recce with liesel and the rest of some of the people of the hc. hahaha. anyway we ended up going on a major shopping spree. both feeling so accomplished today. got quite a number of stuff each of us wanted. ahaha. we even got a team jersey la. haha. nice we bought ours already just need to wait for the others to argee to buying it as well. then can get it done and completed before titans hopefully =) black adiddas. so nice and sei. nice nice. =) hahaha. i like shopping with liesel yay =) haha. eh. most of us-oac went to watch mission impossible 3 also. not too bad la. haha. been a long time since i last stepped into a theatre already. haha. oh well. shopping is fun =) hmmm... haha. but.. haha. i'm still not doing what i'm supposed to be doing. studying. heh. this is not good. no idea why every single day for this entire week i'll just fall asleep once i get home. no idea why i'm so tired everyday. blah dunno =( oh they're going kayaking tmr. and i still can't go =( this sucks. hmm saw the ad for the shape competition. the 5km run sounds fun. just for the fun of it. haha nice... feel like joining. in july... =) hmmm... haha =)

maybe i'm just living in a lie. a seemingly normal enviroment i created for myself. i keep on trying to think that everything will be okay. but maybe it just isn't. perhaps i was wrong. perhaps i thought that i could just carry on like this everyday. but this is not the way. it's time to change and do something about it. short of time short of everything. stretched but yet not so streched. short of time but perhaps misusing the occasional free times. always telling myself to but yet nothing ever happens. kim, you really need to do something about it. before it's too late.

hmmm anyway i dunno. realised my form teacher's so brave. she still continued to teach us- though i dun take physics anymore, come for civics and even went through the parents teacher dialogue the other day. though she constantly looked quite pale and tired... we never knew what had happened. not until today. our chem tutor let us know. no wonder. her husband passed away. he fell in the hotel in china. such an unexpected death. and was during that mardi gras period somemore. can just imagine all that she had to go through just go get the body back while grieving and still continuing to take care of us all this while until the body finally returned to singapore today. so brave and so professional. new found respect for her.

just some random thoughts here and there i suppose. i dunno rubbished post. ignore it.