sigh kind of a weird feeling to have people worrying so much for me. i feel so so bad. i never liked having people worrying for me... i just find it... unfair that they have to worry about me even though they have so many other things to do or worry about. so i'd do everything in my capability to make everything look alright all the time no matter what the situation is. i never talk about my academics. just laugh it off if someone asks. i don't want anyone worrying. even if my knee's hurting a lot just by walking or even while sitting. i won't care. will just continue as far as possible without saying anything. sorry if i don't respond or seem very quite out of a sudden. just don't see the point of complaining or letting people know about it. might as well just ren it myself. if i have to run, i will. even during pe... the more it hurts the more i chiong to finish it faster. the faster i finish the less time i have to endure it in front of my classmates. i try hard not to let them know. that's why i'm always the first to disappear after pe. not that i want to. but i just don't want them to see. even if i can't cope, i'll try not to pass the workload to anyone. cos it's not fair. and i don't want them to know about my situation. seriously i just don't like having people worry about me. always try to minimise it. but having said that, realise i make the people closer to me worry more. cos yeah one way or another they'd find out a bit of what's happening. like running. they'd tell me not to run anymore. but the i'll still continue to run and chiong even faster cos i don't want other people to know. i'm really sorry. sorry to everyone who worries constantly about me... whether it may be academically... or physically. sorry...

sigh. i'm so evil. so so evil. why do i keep making people worry about me. i feel really bad now. i don't want anyone to worry about me. i need to do something about it. i want to come back next year and say yes i passed. yes i did well. yes i got into a uni. and yes i got into the course i wanted. ahh... but that seems so so far from reality. time is really running out. and i'm no where. seriously no where. kind of confused. i don't even know where to start. i don't know what i'm doing. and i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. arggh. i'm so evil =( rarh.

anyway got a suggestion that i should sign on should my grades not be able to make it for the actual As. something i actually thought of before. heh. maybe maybe... we'll see. sigh. but i don't want anyone worrying about me anymore. seriously. it's high time that i do something about it =(

yay! i finally know what i want. and i shall work towards it yes? -grins happily- i can make this happen.. if i just try hard enough =)

sigh. i'm tired. really tired. please give me a break. stop giving me a hard time. not like i don't have enough to think about already. arggh. i hate going to class =(

ahahaha.... omg. i just realised something. haha... stunning. lol. this is so random. hahahaha

handover today for hc. i suppose it didn't seem as sad is i thought it might be... maybe... cos we're all comforted by the fact that we've made so many great friends here and that the memories we share will last a life time. so honoured that nick the president of the hrc mentioned our beta hc for our major house function during his closing speech. haha just reminds us of all the things we went through. haha the months of preperations... and the endless obstacles we faced. months of preparation thawted by the rain, leaving us desperately trying to move the av equiptment back into the main block during a thunderstorm. our second attempt at holding the event destroyed by the polling day... our third and final scaled down success. it would have been better. but we were glad that it turned out as it was... considering all the circumstances we were under. haha our term started and ended with the rain. but i think we did great yeah. haha =p not bad lar considering we attract rain each time we attempt to orgainse something. our bbq event daunted by the rain. yet everyone kept going. pretty touching to see the entire house undre groundsheets bbqing in the rain as one. i suppose that really brought all the beta knights around much closer together. it was an event we'd never forget. all the funny and stupid things we do... the really full of rubbish highly entertaining no one seems to be interested having fun time meetings... really cool. so highly entertaining and lol engaging. but really productive. really glad for our decisiveness and efficiency. still remember the time the first and last time we ever ordered catered food... the food that came was so expensive yet it came in such a small portion. within minutes half the com was in bedok central sourcing for more food... while the other half was preparing for the function. haha so cool la. so glad that i've hc. yay =) some people say we do a lot of saikang... but hey.. we make sai kang look good yeah. lol! hahahaha... what crap =p something i'll never regret joining. =) 13th beta hc rocks














haha that's us...















all the stupid things we do...















but it's time to move on...














but we'll always be together anyway yeah =) yay
















haha oh. my direct junior. rocks =)

hmm jts today. not bad lar. the sports capts went shopping early. got all our gifts. got a nice light blue nike cap for qian hui. supposed to be lame. haha sports capt ma so bought a sports cap. oops. haha. then the juniors treated us to a movie. superman returns. been a long time since i last stepped into a movie theatre. haha yeah. anyway nah it's not a great movie. very... er. time consuming for such a short climax. uh huh. then we had dinner at breeks. haha the food there's not too bad lar. just a bit ex. then wahhh felt so bad lar. cos some pple ordered like free. super ex lar in the end. poor juniors. =/ oh well. haha. anyway after that haha super malu lor. froggie and edwin went to give the juniors the special entertainment gift. haha. all the junior hc guys had to line up in a row in front of us to blow up... hahahaha... a errr 15 inch inflatable dick.. okay. it's like damn sick lor. super gross entertainment lor. kaoz. super gross super malu. and super funny. haha oh well. went to esplanade after that... to take photos. haha dun have the photos of the entire coms yet. haven't gotten them. but i've er three indivdual photos from my phone? haha. really dark though cos i didn't bother to use the lights from my hp. lol. oops. let me try to upload it. kind of forgotten how to... haha.















rachie and me =)















froggy and me. haha froggy testing out his photo taking skills. not bad lar. hahaha...
















eevien and i

haha oh and i got a really nice jts present from qian hui lar. kind of think she spent a lot. oops. =/ oh well. but really really nice...















pretty flower =)
















guess what's inside this nice box? hahaha...
















so pretty la! =) thanks qian hui! =D

hahaha i think this photo uploading thing's like addictive. lol. fun to take funny pics with my phone. hahaha. damn dun have a pic with my direct junior! so sad lar. maybe wednesday during handover. haha. lalala. very random this few days. oops. haha. anyway really happy to handover to qian hui... haha oh she's a bballer too lor. so cool. i like =) haha she's a nice person la. i think she'll do well =) oh well... handover's really close liao. just like two days away. time to step down from hc. quite sad. think i know how the seniors felt last time when they were going to hand over to us ba. kind of miss them lor. oh well. but handing over's inevitable so yups. hmmm... wonder how wednesday will be like... oh well. back to school tmr. how sad. i don't want my results back. i already can predict what it'd be like so yeah. no way. i dun wan it back at all. =(

erm i have been tagged. lol.

1. Do the following WITHOUT complaints
2. Choose 5 person to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

Currents
Current Mood: BLANK!
Current Taste: huh? errr...
Current Clothes: erm red t shirt, jeans and erm my black nike jacket? c'mon. i just got home lar. haha
Current Desktop: my 2 cute little baby cousins grinning =)
Current Toenail Colour: pink
Curent Time: 8.10 pm
Current Surroundings: hmm. walls? table? chairs? haha.
Current Annoyances: honestly? studies.
Current Thoughts: i need to start studying soon.

First
First Best Friends: hmm natalie? haha
First Crush: honestly i don't know and i don't remember.
First Music: erm. -thinks real hard- nursery rhymes a long long time ago? lol

Lasts
Last Cigarette: nono. not even planning to try
Last Drink: haha drink as in normal drink or er vodka that kind? lol.
Last Crush: if you know you know if you don't you don't. what even makes you so sure i even had one to begin with? lol.
Last Movie: oh gosh that was really awhile ago. errr... mission impossible 3?
Last Phone Call: eh? yinwei called last night to check on me
Last CD played: cd ar. jay chou's november's chaplin
Last song played: hmmm... let me check my phone... oh. amazing by westlife.

Have you ever
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: erm. i dun think so.
Have you ever broken the law: haha define law first. lol.
Have you ever been arrested: er no
Have you ever been on TV: yar. i think i climbed onto a tv before. lol. er if you consider those kind of videotape and then played on tv kind. it's still on tv right? haha.
Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: siao. haha crazy ar. lol.

5 things you are wearing: sounds like a repeat question? haha. erm red shirt, black jacket, jeans, earings, sunglasses... haha okay i kind of just bought them for fun. haha. fine. lol.
4 things you done today: eh. met rachel, kaiqin, yan ling, jean, dorothy... erm shopped? used my hp? er can see i'm really out of things to write. haha. i went online?
3 things you can hear right now: my typing. an incoming msg to my hp. er over my head by fray. nice nice song. haha
1 thing u do when you're bored:haha i dunno. what kind of question is that? if i'm bored i must have nothing better to do right? hahaha...

ehhh... cheryl jean rachel dorothy and hui xian

haha anyway i realised managed to meet quite a no of ij pple this week or so. really happy. haven't seen some of you in the longest time.. like since i went back to ij to get back my o level results lar. haha sorry for mia-ing so much. just haha kind of caught up doing other stuff? haha. hmmm... anyway jts for hc tmr. still remember last year's one. kind of miss the seniors and all... but oh well. yup life goes on. it's our turn! =p handover's really soon too.. time for me to slowly get myself to let go too... kinda hard i suppose. but it's inevitable yeah. lalala...

yay just picked dad up from the airport! he's back from denver. woo hoo~ =) oh the year ones completed their 72km awhile ago... after 30 hours. though not within the 21 hours but really glad they completed the entire thing. yayness... ooh. dad bought me nice nike stuff from the us! yay. haha the haven't come to singapore designs. nice nice. thankiew =) hahaha... a lot of chocolates and all at home now. yay... such a random random post! haha =)