sometimes you wonder.
will it all last?
will it be a happy ever after?
some part of me wishes it still.
some part of me just doesn't know anymore.
i'm trying very hard. trying not to slip away.
but i'm confused. i somehow feel void of feeling inside.
each time i tell you why i'm unhappy or worried and you put me down in someway or another, it hurts inside. it's like i'm never as important never as good enough. everything i do is second class to you and your course. it has always hurt me.
each time you refused to answer me if i asked if you loved me, it's like a stab in the heart.
each time you don't want to kiss me properly, it's like a double stab in the heart.
each time you talk about demerit points or anything i lose what i've been fighting for.
each time i tell you subtly it's to help you to help me to stop drifting away.
to stop slipping away.
i wish you understood.
since that day a year ago when you said you said you couldn't see us in the future,
i guess a part of me had already died permanently.
i try to act like i can. but i can't anymore.
i'm trying very hard.
but i still feel feel i'm getting snappier i'm losing it i'm drifting.
are you gonna help me out?
or are you gonna let me slide away into oblivion?