the most elating day.

yet the most heartbreaking day.

i'm lucky to be doing water operations in sembcorp.

but i don't know what to do.

my heart is in pieces.

so where do we go from here?

haha so many things happening this week.

i'm beginning to lose track of everything's that going on.

many many things to do.

ah well...

and i realised i really don't have a i'm from engin look. =S

no one has ever been able to guess my faculty without prompting -_-

haha funny conversation that occurred over the week:

lady: are you from nus as well?

me: yup i'm nus too... engineering =)

lady: *gasps in shock*

me: haha yuppp engineering

lady: but you don't look like an engineer... too fashionable.. too...

me: haha yeah i get that a lot. that i don't look like i'm from engin

lady: whoa... so do you really like what you're studying? does it interest you?

me: *laughs away* yes engin's quite interesting and yes i'm really from engin ahahaha

ahaha thanks ar. still ask whether i like what i study haha. omg. i'm really from engin can =s

talking about that... my CAP's up by another 0.2! =D

not as much as i'd have hoped it'd improve but ah well. not too bad of a jump still.

jumped 0.65 over the last 3 semesters. can't complain ehs.

though cos it wasn't as good as expected...

some hopes are completely dashed and left for the dumps. ah well. forget it.

just a lil worried that IA's gonna further stall my CAP.

ah well... talking about IA...

i still haven't gotten enough working clothes.

or shoes or whatsoever. uh oh. and i don't seem to have a lot of time left =s

AHH... so fast so fast...

ANDDD i think i'm gonna be awed at the sight of the jurong island wastewater and cogeneration treatment plants. saw about 3 photos and i'm whoa-ed already...

anddd their technology sounds pretty impressive! =D

the high efficiency anaerobic biogranulation technology sounds good.

the advanced fluid composting too!

really can't wait to see it in action.

this is so exciting =D

i have a lottt to learn! =)

and andddd they're building the world's largest water reclaimation plant in CHANGI! =D=D=D

ohmygosh they're technologies are =D=D=D im excited excited excited! =D

oh gosh i'm crazily tired. cycled the entire day with my youngest bro.

even in the rain haha whichhh reminds me of the time you came and it

rained while we cycled haha probably the last time i cycled too hahas

cycled up and down up and down ecp... anddd dropped by the fairprice to buy some groceries as well. the random decision to cook dinner =D

ah so much for clearing up my messy room. haha

cooking was fun! =) cooked a korean dinner. wahaha i likeee =D

haha and it looked redder than the picture does =p

and we even decided to roast a whole chicken for the fun of it. haha

a lil burnt on the outside though cos the oven's heating thingy was a tad too difficult to control =( ah well still tasted not tooo bad =)

or at least my bro liked it.

realised my bro really likes all these cook/bake together kinda

stuff. haha =p

and... HURRAY! you're back! =D=D=D

and i somehow loveeee this pic of us... from the day we went prawning =D

hehe... alrights... terribly exhausted. my bobbie brown town appointment and chingay dance tmr! =D

i'm happy! and i cant wait to see you again. when i see you. ah well but you're backkk! =D thats all that matters now =p the feeling's different... yayeeee! =)

and so another day passed =)
met up with my ij-rians.
manhatten fished-ed with wanting rachel yanling dorothy and jean at marina square and celebrated jean's 21st in advanace at the same time as well
not too bad. had some nice jap ice cream from there too =)
headed down to the book fair at suntec! and omggg got 5 new books to read. figured i should do something more with my spare time rather than taptap haha.
and i even got this really cute chinese handbooks. haha spent quite long laughing at it (realised my chinese is not thatttt bad after all. but that's relative yeah. lol.) it has the cutest phrases! haha high time to start trying to improve my chinese =s i NEED to start being able to hold a proper conversation with your fam! haha hmmm my new aim-relearn chinese

and and omg i keep seeing the mitch albon book that you were reading. now im so so tempted to read it too! hahaha shall borrow a little faith from you soon =D

got my fossil watch back! nice and repaired. and i finally called bobbie brown for my makeup lesson after half a year of procrastination lol =s about time. wed! =) should be interesting

and it was back to kr for chingay dance. so far so good. it's pretty interesting actually. learning steps much faster than before. anddd i can do the warm up! wahaha must be the last many months of jazz lol =p cant wait till chingay comes =p

anddd i learnt something new -> d block's 2nd floor gate can be opened as long as you're a kr alumni. haha the card's coded forever ahahaha =x

guessing i should go catch some sleep real soon. supposed to go for an early morning walk/jog with my mum. declaring tomorrow a stay home day. hahas. and yesss you're coming back! =D yay! <3

glacius outing in the day at the raffles city shokudo

exactly the same table as that of our third month =)

the familiar soft shell crab ramen, pizza and macha haha =p

pretty nice catching up with rizki and mogu though =)

then it was to acjc to catch the dance recital which we were hahaha supposed to perform in. ah well.

not too bad though. really really cute kids =D

i want my daughter to learn dance in the future! haha...

kinda made me wonder what happened to the cartwheel-ing gymnastics and tap dancing me back when i was young though. think i'll never be able to do it ever again after the op. ah well ahaha moved on =x

haha surprised to see my msg delivered to you halfway though

hope your trip's going great =)

dinner with the oac girls at wala wala. ahaha first time for everything yeah? they have surprisingly good food though! always thought it'd just be another drinking place or something. haha... awesome. a new hangout place. haha =p

had a drive down the whole orchard stretch and caught all the christmas lightings. hmm =)

ah well this weird chest pain that has been occuring quite frequently is killing me =(

shall attempt to sleep earlier than usual... another long day ahead bahs.

goodnight =)

ps: ilu =)

drove to safti to pick my bro up from ocs early this morning!

then it was another long long drive down to rp to mark scripts.

pretty fun marking. challenging. ahaha never knew it was possible to score so low for math. haha =x

gosh i felt so near yet so far to you in woodlands. it's so... like you always say... your di pan =p

i remember pacing up and down that pathway next to woodlands mrt... nervously... waiting for you to come pick me up to visit your mum's shop and family for the first time. =p

i remember you walking me from woodlands to rp's park for a little nature walk for our 6th month =)

it felt so weird taking the escalator up the mrt without someone to hug and cling on to real tight.

everything about woodlands reminds me of you haha =p

then it was off to cityhall to meet my ex tj classmates to buy our present for our other classmate's 21st. and yes dear, william's my new found BFF! haha =p

ahaha i still remember us walking out to catch the last bus from nsrcc at sam's birthday...

when i first gave you a peck on the cheek to thank you for making the effort come all the way down to celebrate it with us. =p

anddd i miss having someone to call while waiting for bus 14 (which takes forever to come) to come. haha

everything these few days seem to keep me thinking of you! excessively =x

i hope you're enjoying your trip loads!

lovelove from a crazily tired fishie <3

so much to tell you

it feels so weird not being to give you a call or drop you a message knowing a reply'd come soon

whenever i see something interesting or i don't know... have that sudden urge to tell you something

so i guess i'll write it here... so that it wouldn't slip my mind =)

so it's day one! of me awaiting your return! =D

early morning drive to changi airport!

managed to make a direct in reverse parking! i'm improving! YAY! =D

met your family, aunts and cousins.

haha i realised i'm not good with groups. accumulated fatigue over the years i guess. of having to handle too many different groups of people. haha but i'm working on it =)

and yesss i like them! =) i'm glad i asked you to go for the hols. i'm sure you'd enjoy it. friendly bunch yays =p

met longman for lunch at bugis. our little catch up session before he leaves for sep...

ma maisons it was for lunch =) nice cosy little place in bugis junction.

we found this really cool restaurant in iluma while walking around though...

and the prices are really quite surprisingly okay. sooo gonna bring you there someday! =D

traveled with my younger bro down to 313@somerset for a random sudden meeting with my parents for dinner =p

dinner-ed at say cheese. which reminded me EVEN MORE of you.

and yes their food is sooooo good =D

seee! haha =D yeah! =p hahas

we randomly met mogu too! out shopping with her friend haha =p

mmm i can't wait for f21 and new look to open in 313! =)

oh and the marche queue is amazingly long =x

drove from orchard back home...

never realised driving would be so tiring =s

must be the concentration. too many lives at hand. stressed. haha

ahh gonna concuss... so so tired. another long day ahead =x

i hope everything's going well =)

love you dear =p

alrights! so now i've achieved all that i've set out to achieve this holidays =) passing driving! =D

yeah baby!

wahaha but i still need to get used to auto cars. cos i don't have a manual car. hehhh.

ah well.

looking back at that tiring semester. i must have been crazy to overload myself so much academically in a semester like this =x

buttt nevertheless i'm glad it's over.

and i'm lucky for the support i've been getting from you, my ese mates and the rest of my friends.

if not i've no idea how i would have pulled that feat off on my own =)

alrights it's time to start meeting up with all the non-hall friends whom i've neglected so much all these years =(

time for me to get this right =D

yeah baby here i comeeeee LOL =p

yeah! the most draining semester ever is over! =)

and i finally see you for the first time in a month! =D

good food in both chinatown and town =)

but what mattered most was still you...

you being there with me =D

yeah!

happy 11 months dear! =)

we're almost a year! =p

though it's another celebration-less month

cos we're both way too busy =s

microbiology paper in the morning

and now desperately rushing air pollution control for tomorrow morning's paper.

just me, air pollution control and my cup noodles. haha

i'm terribly exhausted.

ah well but it'll be over soon yeah?

and sembcorp emailed me abt the details for internship day one!

7.35am. hahaha wow. i better be able to make it on time. consistantly.

i'm excited though! =)

haha alrights! back to studying. hopefully i'll finish reading this stack in time =s

ps: i miss youuu! =( and i hope tmr will be a good exam day for the both of us =)

awesome 9am papers

shit. im feel so stressed over screwing up waste management.

can't seem to get it off my mind.

please please please give me a B+.

i begggg of you.

don't give me anything below B.

though the more i think of it. looking at the way i answered the questions, the more i think i might have deserved that.

if only i could turn back time =(

someone please pray for me.

arggh. okie. now please make up for it kim.

learn to let go.

you have three chances left.

don't regret.

make it up.

icandothis.

and especially for you, i won't give up. as promised =)

sigh the more i think about it,

the worse i think i fared for my waste management paper that day.

not just the 20 mark calculation that i couldn't do.

but also the crappy answers that i gave even though i knew what was going on. =(

pls pls don't let me drop too many grades.

b+ will do for me =) (though now i think i need a miracle to get that =( )

sigh okie make up for it with microbio air and water. come on.

focussss O.O

stressedddd =(

haha yay! and im halfway through.

and i got my two wastewater quizzes back =)

and i realised i've scored 31.5 out of the 35 % possible that we've gotten back.

omggg. ifff my individual proj turns out fine... and i can somehow keep it up and do well for my final paper... YAY!

the most important module to me now cos i wanna major in that.

alrights. but i'll only touch it after microbiology and air pollution control are over.

and i must must stop slacking and playing so much. time to focus.

tmr will be a better day =)

okieee... to a crazily xiong week ahead...

I CAN DO THIS.

i really really want/need my honours.

and i really hope you do well too =)

you're my inspiration =p

okay. two days wasted.

gone to procrastination.

come on kim pull yourself together.

just four more.

you can do it.

you're almost there.

make tomorrow a better day.

tomorrow will be a good day.

icandoiticandoiticandoit

a new template because i think i need a change =)

icandothisicandothisicandothis

sigh. i broke down again last night.

for the umpteen-th time this semester

i'm so disappointed with myself

it's only the second paper but i'm already feeling so tired and burnt out.

but i can't let go now.

i know my content well.

but i'm putting too much pressure on myself to do well this sem.

so much so i actually think that's the reason why i can't perform during the papers itself.

anddd it's making it difficult for me to fall asleep at night.

even when i'm so so tired.

i need to find a way out

to get past the final four papers well

especially the final three which mean the most to me.

if i stop will you push me on?

will you reassure me that i can do this on my own?

oh gosh. i feel so worried for tmr's exam =(

I WANT MY CHEATSHEET. bahhh

i feel insecure =(

and here comes the start of my 6 ppr marathon.

wish me luck =(

ps: i miss you.

i'm getting so distracted, so unfocused and so tired this half of the semester that i really don't know what to do anymore.

maybe i really overloaded too much this sem.

maybe i'm just expecting too much out of myself.

maybe i'm just too tired.

to much work to do, so many other things to handle. so many other problems.

try being me for a day. maybe you'll understand.

finally finally finished the super undoable past year quiz.

so so ridiculous.

at least i figured it out. but still.

pls pls pray for me. that i won't flunk tmr's test =(

cos i really wanna specialise in that.

and my four labs in a day tmr. omg.

830am labs are unearthly hours.

to the long long day ahead.

lord, please carry me through.

yayness! kim is a happy girl today.

cos he met me twice today!

and both times more than the occasional 5-10mins we might have together here and there per week. =)

water and wastewater engineering test tmr. i need... to do well. =(

4 labs per day for this week. madness. and you wonder why i always disappear.

pls pls get me past this week...