so tell me.
why do i always end up being the one having to make the difficult decisions?

hahaha it's been awhile. many gatherings the past few days.

shall let the pictures do the talking.

5th floor outing to minds cafe and clarke quay =)

we loveeee kr d blk 5th floor =)

been spending a lil more time at home these days as well.
midnight mass at st andrews cathedral was pretty insightful. =)

chrismas-es should be like that. haha not stuck alone in hall. =x

yay! the pretty looking logcake at home on xmas =)

dropped by the oac christmas party as well.

loved the talks and the many different insights and opinions into all the different things like marriage and all. =)

haha only that gew and blackie had to leave the dinner halfway to catch their bus to go climb their mountain in malaysia. =x
but still, it was great fun =)

haha yay the 4/2 white christmas at carol's.

pretty nice to see many familiar faces and hahaha all those memories of those little things which used to happen back in secondary schoool. hahaha rocks. =)

and i love carol's =D

and yes, haha that's a crocodile pinata filled with candies. haha how cute is that =p

out to see the singapore flyer and caught a glimspe of the marina barrage with my family before meeting rae weennnnn! haha =D

haha omg our pretty white and silver star-red 2009 diaries from prints.

ex but haha omg so pretty. couldnt help it.

hahahaha! and we bought it as christmas presents for each other too.

hahaha we in we paid for each other's diaries and wished each other merry christmas on the spot.

hahahahahahhaa the sales person seriously had the omg im trying to control myself from bursting into laughter look. LOL. i think she's seriously amused by us. lol.

hahahaha and there we went again buying the same hairband together.

and some other secret stuff too. hahahahaha...

remember buying the same shirt together with rae hui before a couple of christmas-ses ago too.

our last minute white christmas tee buy =)

and a year later pple still ask us where we bought it from hahaha rocks.

haha its no wonder why i miss them when they go overseas.

love the crazy things we do together haha =)

and of course, more importantly, it's.... jean's birthday!

haha hope you had a blast of a birthday =)

oh yes! and haha i passed my basic theory test yesterday too!

haha finally decided to take it after so long.

haha and i had a nice food trail cum shopping session with yuan too! =D

niceee ice cream from shaw towers.

more meetups to come.

too many pple i havent met since like i entered jc or uni.

trying my best to meet all the many many pple i've lost most contact with cos i'm always too busy to be around =(
oh well more trainings to come too...

jiayou ba. =)

i feel as if im being pulled.
stretched from every corner.
way over my yield strength.
why cant anyone give me a break.
leave me alone. just for a moment.
why cant the problems stop coming in one after another.
i cant.
i cant do this.
i cant do this alone.
i cant do this alone anymore.

i miss my neighbours =(
5th floor is a ghost floor.

hur. but haha oh well theres some church camp going on here suddenly.
kinda awkard when they're like omg are you the girl in the lift?
then it gets even more awkard when they ask you that IN the lift itself,
while pointing at that poster =(
omggg. haha sigh oh well.

holidays so equals trainings and more extra stuff.
holidays shouldn't be called holidays =(

alrights its been awhile.
exams are over. and i actually feel relieved.
for the first time since i've stepped into nus.
maybe cos i actually tried to put in a little effort into my academics for once this semester.
just that perhaps spreading it across 6 modules again isnt a very good thing.
but i'm sure it'd be better than last semester. then again. nothing can beat last semester. =(

korea was great. learnt a lot about the history of korea.
always had a thing for listening to stories of the histories of foreign countries. haha =)
met up with so much snow it's scary. snowed non stop for like 5 out of my 7 days there.
even on the tropical island. so much so the locals came out to take a look at it for themselves cos its THAT rare. how lucky.
skiing is my new found sport. rocks. =)
and i'm officially immune to heights. like completely overcome the fear.
though i'd still whine a little here and there. but yup. no more of that heart dropping feeling of freefall. even when bungee-ing. so yups. i guess im over that =)
shall update about korea again another time when i'm a little free-er.
i'm so definitely going back there again =)

first training after the exams was pretty alright i guess. basics, pt. good. i like my team =)
alumni day was... interesting. really do love touch. but my handball is... rarh just put it that i need a lot a lot of training. and i really need to restart running more. ihg is coming =( and so is christmas LOL =p

oh well sigh. just sent in my sep application this afternoon. now typing out my rough timeline for ese camp. while watching grey's anatomy while thinking about tmr's training. and whether src'd have courts. its never gonna stop is it? hoildays. =(

HAHAHA...
i SO SO have to say this.
OMG IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF
I FINISHED THE BIOCHEM SYLLABUS.
like the WHOLE THING.
hahahahahahaa...
and i started studying proper at like 1030pm.
omggg...
managed to finish carbohydrates,
and tagged my textbooks and notes going through the entire syllabus.
super proud of myself. 6 hours straight.
okie with a little bit of geocities. but it was minimal.
hahahaha omggg...
so i CAN be self disciplined afterall should the need arise. =)
haha okie good. now i don't feel THAT underprepared for biochem.
relieved.
at least i know i tried. =)
yayyy... last paper! lets go! =)
jiayou to everyone else still studying! =)

omggg...
so much for managing to cover the statics and mechanics syllabus in time.
suddenly realised it's super late already.
and i've yet to cover what i need to cover.
as in trying out of questions.
omggg...
and my lsmmm. im seriously not gonna touch it until like what a few hrs before the paper?
omggg...
i suddenly feel... quite stressed.
but the only stress i'm seeing now is...
normal stress
shear stress
engineering stress.
die. =(
jiayou. i so cannot afford to flop this module. hur.

the greatest human power is our power to be weak.

true. but how we go about utilising this power is still our own choice.
you decide.
whether you're going to let things take control of you.
or whether you're going to step up and take control of things.
the choice is yours.
to give up or not to give up.
the choice is yours.
so near yet so far.
what's your choice gonna be?

i think im getting quite out of focus again.
too much procrastination.
here. there. everywhere.
espcially when i'm already studying so last minute for my modules.
i need start reframing my state of mind soon.
tired. very tired. but i cannot...
cannot give up on my last two modules once tmr's paper is over.
i cannot repeat last semester again.
i must never crash and burn by giving up ever again.
i will not be weak.

if i can't. then i MUST.
jiayou. =)

haha i'm a very happy girl today! haha =)
so much for being so sad after the ppr cos subway ran out of cookies... haha...
janice and xiuqi bought me the double choc chip cookies =)
jiaying brought us pizza.
weikit and mel brought us mudpies.
oliver's going around with the guitar.
and i just had two bubble teas too.
haha just when you're sad and super sian diao-ed that right after a genetic engineering paper...
you have a paper on... uh. the history of singapore and south east asia.
evolution of a global city state,
people come around making your day.
much love =)
alrights. time to haha start on my history module. though its already haha a little late. lol =)

worried.
worried.
very worried for this module.
i really wonder if what i'm doing now is enough to make up for my midterm flop. =(
i really hope so.
lord please guide me.
100 questions. i can/must be able to do this.
sigh.

oh well. dinnered in engin with shileng today after his fluid mech paper. =)
talking about biathlons,
suddenly realised i havent done one since... january?
and i havent done a triathlon since... forever. omg.
kinda miss the endurance feel of the sport.
should do one soon.
still kinda sad that i'd be missing standard charted. but oh well. family's more important yeah.
random thought: shall try running at 13km/hr flat the next time i use the threadmill since i realised that i can maintain at 12.5 without much problems. =)
good trainings. the faster... the better. the greater the sense of fulfilment. =)
though a little worrying for the op-ed leg ehs. hmm...
haha okie i should so be trying to salvage my tmr's ppr by like studying.
still feeling a little worried that it's not enough =(

oh well. happy picture for the day:














rainbow spotted outside my window the other day! =)

something that shileng told me the other day...
it's a reminder that if you wanna embrace the rainbow,
you must first embrace the rain.

how very true.
alrights. so it's back to mugging and hoping for the best =)
jiayous everyone =)

btw omg this is so good for dna microarrays. super simplified. i declare it idiot proof =)
http://www.bio.davidson.edu/Courses/genomics/chip/chip.html
love it.

disappointed.
i really felt that the ce2407 ppr wasn't THAT bad.
or at least it wasnt as evily crafted out as i expected it to be.
judging from the un-do-able assignments each time.
but really very disappointed.
euler's method. the only method i didnt really bother to comprehend properly.
cos there are so many methods.
it already came out too many times before.
sigh. there goes 25marks in a question.
probability... a little uncertainty here and there.
i can live with that.
BUT. goodjob. i super ran out of time.
and i ran out of time for the only part that's supposed to confirm you marks.
CONFIDENCE INTERVAL TESTING. thats like how STANDARD CAN.
as in yeah there are a lot of tests to choose from. but once you get hold of the right test for the situation... you can't really go wrong after that what.
im so irritated. cos i also knew which test to use. sigh.
and im very irritated with myself. kept copying the wrong numbers. too tired liao i think.
but it really happened a lot a lot of times.
and the recalculation resulting from that is really very tedious and time consuming.
sigh. nevermind. just ranting it out. feeling... disturbed by it. =(

but oh well. its over. time to move on. 4 more papers. thurs fri mon tues. super heavy. and i really cannot afford to flop another semester.... after what happened last semester.
you know till now... i really still have problems sleeping at night during the exam periods even though i'm so tired. cos i still cant get over how everything went so wrong last sem. scared. =(
arggh. nvm nvm. happy thoughts for now. shall go sleep a little before going off to study. =)

boo. im super bored in engin...
hiding in my cosy little corner near lt1.
i love engin. and here in engin. all i hear are sounds of engines.
whoots. =) rocks.
my ese pple have all left to go do their hydraulics paper.
i will do it soon too =x
unproductive day. unproductive weekend.
lousy saturday paper.
and my second paper's tmr. good job kim. =(
i need i need... to focus. but somehow i cant seem to do so. =(
sigh oh well. 9am kim 9am. tmr. then its thurs fri mon tues and im done.
focus on your outcome! comeon!

oh well. anyway hahahaha shilenggg came to find me in engin just a short while agooo =)
all the way from the mpsh to engin! =)
after his thermody paper... yay =) its worth it to come to engin early to attempt to mug after all ehs? =) haha. kidding kidding. haha i love engin =)











hahaha okie this is probably too small to be seen.
but i think ivle for the year twos went mad yesterday.
they added ma1506 into our module list.
haha omg IM A SEVEN MODD-ER.
HOW PRO IS THAT! HAHAHAHA =)
haha crazy. thats suicidal. 7 in a sem. thats not even allowed.

hahaha okie i think i'm too stressed. cant seem to sleep at night these days.
even though im so so tired.
buttt i can still sleep throughout the day -_-
GG. and i cant screw my bioclock this sem if not i confirm GG.

too many morning papers.
okieeee im gonna start studying. if not i really won't be back from engin by even 10pm tonight =(
jiayous. =)

i think i'm really very stressed.
keep sleeping.
feeling super irritatable.
super irritated.
i think my body's gonna start rejecting me again.
getting the chest feels compressed hurting whenever i breathe feeling again.
sigh. all one day before my paper. =(
im screwed. and now i cant finish in time.
arggh.
and i'm running weird thoughts to treat myself to all the backlog of ss webcasts to "destress".
omg whats wrong with me =(

on the bright side. i dreamt of you today.
maybe it's cos we've been talking a lot more these couple of days.
but at least it makes things feel a lot better. =)

someone asked me an interesting question the other day.

if you were given a chance to take up an overseas scholarship and restart everything again... would you? that kind of got me thinking a little.

would you? i most definately would. super super regret my year one. if i could start from a clean sheat, even if it means restarting from year one, and wasting two years. i really would. hur. haha but thats not the most interesting part. the most interesting part is that even after everything that i went through... i would choose to study engineering again. and the funniest part is that my hunch is that i'd choose to study environmental science engineering as well. just that i'd choose it right from the start this time round.

guess i've learnt to like engin. just that i really do need more time. time to go for my lectures. time to go for my tutorials. time to go for my labs. time to actually do my homework and assignments. time to study and figure out what's going on. it really is quite interesting afterall.

oh well. but time remains as a priviledge. i really do need to learn how to handle my time much better.

at least this sem i've learnt how to say no. no to taking up too many positions. though what i have with me is still quite a lot. but at least it's still possibly managable. one step at a time. i'm gonna get things right.

still way too slow in my studying this recess week. it's almost over. and i'm starting my first paper this saturday. still no where near done. very worried. too much at risk this sem. but somehow it still feels better than last sem. not good. not great. but still better. that's the only thing that's conforting me right now.

and i really do think i'm weird. i feel more at ease with my year two rather than year one modules. i'm weird. oh well. realised gymming is really good for stress relief. still can maintain at 12km/hr even at the third round of running. and i don't find it that tiring. guess thats gonna be a good thing for me. hopefully it keeps up.

alrights. time to sleep. shall go to my new found optimal mugging area that i found today.
guess where guess where?
engineering. muahaha.
yes i love engin so.
can't you feel the need to mug?
i love the mugging/stressful aura.
whoots.
i repeat. i'm weird.

okay maybe im just really too... tired. haha =x

was waiting at the arrival terminal together with rachel for jean's homecoming...
when i saw this cute pretty little girl being carried by her dad.
then she hugged her dad and told him... " i love you daddy"
OMG. so cute. so sweet. when was the last time you told your mum and dad the same thing?
just a random thought.

anyway i realised. im slowly beginning to like engineering actually.
i mean like yeah its difficult and challenging. but seriously if you've enough time to sit there and figure things out... it's really quite fun and interesting. i just need to be more disciplined. and of course, find a little more time.

studying for the finals is going wayyy too slow. not good. =( sleeping too much, moving too slowly. too distracted. arggh. nono. too much at risk again this sem. i really really cannot afford to flop as much as last semester again. it's scary. =(

which reminds me. whyyyy am i blogging now when i should be studying and making up for the many many wasted hours?

rarh. oh the distractions again. discipline kim. discipline is the key.

becauseeee this msg came in earlier today made me smileeee over and over again =)

his rarh is cute hahaha =)

and my amigo-ish tortoise is cute too! =)

i'm being oh so random yet again hahas.

ahaha and since it has crossed into monday,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL LEE =)
come back quick! =D

hahaha alrights back to work.

updateee another time.

so so need to study for the 6 papers =(

jiayous. =)

ps: obama rocks haha =)

because im being so emo these days.
i just did a personality test.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

find it really true for me though.
rarh. judge for yourself.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


alrights. thats for now. i should really start studying for the finals. sigh.

i should be the saddest person on earth.
i think i am now.
so frustrated.
=(

sigh. im not even a third through for thursday's test.

rarh at engin uncertainty and analysis.

actually it isnt that bad of a module i realised.

i just need a little time to figure out the details here and there.

packed packed week. filled to the brim. sigh.

boring wordy blog.

kim is random.

random photos from the captains photoshoot to haha brighten the day.

still quite amused by them. looks.... er. haha. yeah.

kim tries to act fierce 1. fail.

kim tries to act fierce 2. flop.

kim tries to act fierce 3. super flop.

haha omg. and they're using the third photo.

still think the second one looks haha the cutest.

at least the first one looked quite dao right.

the third is just. ummm... HAHA. no comments.

i think my dark photos are the worst. =x

wonder how weird my video's gonna look.

sebest says its one of the more zai looking ones.

ahahaha but i still think i looked super ultimately retarded when i did it. =x

rarh.

alrights. enough entertainment for the day.

hope my flop-pish looks brought a smile to your faces =D

hahahahaha... back to engin math! whoots =)

omg. that chest feels very compressed, hurts when i breathe, feel like puking feeling is back.
i think my body's rejecting me again =(
and my statics and mechanics test is in less than 3 hours time.
i cant sleep and i cant study.
its horrible being stuck in the middle.
feel like throwing up but i cant.
omg help. =(