and so we have welcomed in 2011.

2010 has been an interesting one.

many ups and perhaps even more downs.

many tests. many questions. many trials and tribulations.

but still we all got through it.

what 2011 will bring will be even more interesting in a different sense.

2011 will be the mark of great changes.

transition from university undergrads to graduates

from the carefree lives we spend to joining the tax paying community.

everyone will start to go in their own directions.

who knows when we will meet again.

2011 will be a trial for the greatest of friendships.

i for one have never been able to manage this well.

when the work piles buildup, it is difficult to make time.

but i'm learning. and i'll keep trying.

because even though i never speak of it, each friendship means a lot to me.

so if you suddenly start hearing more from me, i hope we reignite the times we had together in the past, no matter how different our current circumstances have become.

tested and weathered. i hope our friendships last. i hope they're strong enough to brave the storms ahead.

2011 will be tough. very tough.

but, with faith and strength, we will get through.

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want;
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the
Lord forever.

Psalm 23

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it:

We say: “It’s impossible.”
God says: “All thing are possible.” (Luke 18:27)

We say: “I’m too tired.”
God says: “I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28-20)

We say: “Nobody really loves me.”
God says: “I love you.” (John 3:16, John 13:34)

We say: “I can’t go on.”
God says: “My grace is sufficient.” (II Corinthians 12:9, Psalm 91:15)

We say: “I can’t figure things out.”
God says: “I will direct your steps.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

We say: “I can’t do it.”
God says: “You can do all things.” (Philippians 4:13)

We say: “It’s not worth it.”
God says: “It will be worth it.” (Romans 8:28)

We say: “I can’t forgive myself.”
God says: “I forgive you.” (I John 1:9, Romans 8:1)

We say: “I can’t manage.”
God says: “I will supply all your needs.” (Philippians 4:19)

We say: “I’m afraid.”
God says: “I have not given you a spirit of fear.” (II Timothy 1:7)

We say: “I’m always worried and frustrated.”
God says: “Cast all your cares on ME.” (I Peter 5:7)

We say: “I don’t have enough faith.”
God says: “I’ve given everyone a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)

We say: “I’m not smart enough.”
God says: “I give you wisdom.” (I Corinthians 1:30)

We say: “I feel all alone.”
God says: “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

-- Source Unknown


in times of weakness, the lord is my strength.

quoting it from liesel's friend (changing the profession of course to engineering)

engineering is like shoes
not just any pair of shoes
but the best and prettiest pair of heels you've ever seen
you know you want it
you know it's meant to be on your feet
you know it's the shoe of your dreams
but then you put it on 
and it hurts so bad
causes you blisters and callouses
makes your feet hurt
some people fit it just right
slip right in
but no not you
and people around you compliment them
you just smile through the pain
but they are still the shoes of your dreams
everyday you get up and they are all you want to wear
they may not fit just right
but you love them anyway
because you know you just have to break them in
so even though it hurts at first
you know it's the shoe of your dreams
you know their meant to be on your feet
the beautiful ones are
ones that hurt the most

how true. i just need to try a little harder. try to break them in.
it'll be worth it at the end of the day.
when i get back into the jumpsuit and enter the plant,
when i stand on top of the tanks, looking down at the most breathtaking sceneries one can imagine, knowing that this is where i wanna be.

i gotta push on. can't let a few disappointments, no matter how big they may be, steer me off the path to my dreams.

i gotta be strong. i gotta move on. and i gotta push on.
it'll be worth it. i swear.

i never knew leaving KR would feel like this.

despite being so burnt out for the last year or so.

despite becoming more disconnected from hall than usual because of my many other commitments.

despite telling myself that leaving a year earlier than expected would ultimately be a good transition period from full time hall to full time student and finally to full time worker for the future.

standing on the stage, behind that oh so familiar curtain, knowing that this was your one and only - very last performance to KR,

the feeling was overwhelming.

the place which has given me so many ups and downs.

the place which taught me to love (literally, when i found you)

the place which has given me the most precious of memories

the place which has given me the best and worst of friendships

the place which made me grow into a stronger person.

the place which i've spent 3 years of my life being more of a hall person than a student.

i guess sometimes saying goodbye isn't easy.

i'll appreciate the memories, the friendships the love that KR has showered upon to me.

oh and the money too.

after being presented with the Lee Soon Ann Outstanding Scholarly Progress Award.

i can't wait to see my name on the plaque in the mpsh (probably cos i never really took note of its existence until now, so i'm still kind of intrigued)

ah well,

but yes, my time here is up. and it's time to give this chance of experiencing and growing from the KR life to someone new.

whoever you are, i hope you will seize the opportunities and make the most out of your stay here in KR.

so there it is. another phase of my life passing me by.

thank you KR!

love,

kimberley

procrastination.
in some sense a somewhat taboo word i must say.
they same way i had wanted to write this post a day or two ago. kind of got caught in the oh i think i've something else to do i'll do this later state.
so why have i decided to write this today? because i've finally found some personal time to do so? nope. i need to pack to move back into my room back in hall early tommorrow afternoon, i need to solve a couple of math questions. i'm writing this as a way of not doing all those things. procrastination yet again.

looking back in history, the most impressive people are mostly masters of procrastination. in that manner, there should be some bright side to procrastination yes?

with the endless number of things we could be doing at each moment in time, it's impossible to avoid something as tempting as procrastination.

there are three different variants of procrastination. you could 1) do nothing, 2) do something less important or 3) do something more important.

Procrastinators seldom do absolutely nothing; they do marginally useful things, things to get around doing the task at hand. So the solution? Structured procrastination.

Perhaps something along the line of making a list of tasks to be accomplished; ordered by importance. Just a little twist. The top of your list should probably consist of something that seems very important (but perhaps not so in real life) and very (seemingly) urgent. The somewhat highly exaggerated (in terms of importance) tasks. And by being the procrastinator in us, we'd probably end up accomplishing all the other less important (but actually more important tasks in real life) from the list. Deception you might say. But i actually do think that it might just work.

Just some food for thought =)

M.A.D

it's a mad mad world.
often in life, you would think that life is made up of big big things.
you sit down, thinking of a thousand and one ways to change the world.
but sometimes, it is the smallest things that make the biggest differences in life.

life, is made up of the simplest things.

you ask yourself, who am i to make a difference.
but, who are you not to?

small simple things such as giving up your seat on the bus or train to someone who needs it more, giving an encouraging word or two to a friend or even smiling to a complete random stranger go a long long way.

who i am makes a difference.

M.A.D. make a difference. today =)

hmm i guess it was kind of weird.
i was at a party today...
being my random high self doing and talking rubbish.
then someone just jokingly went orh hor later i tell your bf.
you know the usual thing. which doesnt matter to me cos i mean like of cos the dear bf already knows how high and rubbished i usually am.
what struck me more was the reaction someone had.
like someone who didnt know me before until the party itself.
she immediately turned and just asked a mutual friend.. oh she's attached?

i dunno but i guess it just got stuck replaying in my head a couple of times.
probably its me being quite sensitive to it.
but i guess i just sensed the huh shes attached and she's still so open and everything kind of feeling.
kind of just got me thinking again... what people's perception of attached people should be.
i know some people think that you be more conservative, more like okie must keep a distance from all other guys, quieten down, be more demure and all.
but somehow i still don't believe in that.

i believe being in a relationship shouldnt restrict you from being the person you are.
i believe that there is no need to quieten down yourself.
i believe that you don't need to keep that much of a distance from your guy friends.
i believe that you should have the same freedom that you had before getting attached.
as long as you are clear with yourself.
and as long as you know your limits well.
i think it is fine.
i trust him wholeheartedly.
and i can only hope that he will trust me wholeheartedly back.
i choose to believe that he will.

i believe that abeit all other contributing factors, a good relationship is one that is based on mutual trust, mutual respect, mutual understanding.
i'm that little bit more confident this sem.
that little bit more consistant in my work.
that little bit more clear of what i want to achieve in life.
because i know that no matter what decision i make, no matter what i do,
there's that someone who's always behind me, supporting me all the way.
like what i always believed, a good relationship shld be one that leaves you as a more confident individual, rather then someone who's much more quietened down cos half the time you're wondering oh no if i do or say this and if my bf finds out whats he gonna think.
mutual trust gives you freedom independance and confidence.
this is partly (out of the manyyy manyyyy reasons) why i love him so. =)

the past few days.
difficult to describe.
emotional rollercoaster.
mentally physically emotionally tired.
so tired.
i actually think i crossed into the burnt out zone.
sigh.
accumulation of everything the past couple of months.
i guess what they say is right.
when something big ends for you, suddenly all the accumulated fatigue and frustration just starts pouring out.
and there's no way to stop it.

but i'm glad.
cos at the end of the day,
i'm really proud of my team.
i really couldnt possibly ask for a better team than this.
i'm proud of them for fighting till the last second.
i'm glad that they stood up to the challenge.
i'm thankful for how they came together to help me pull everything back together.
i'm grateful for the support i've received over the past few mths from the team.
the personal emails messages talks. yeah they really meant a lot.
it made the difference between me wanting to give up. or me wanting to push on further.
i only regret that i got too tired towards the end of the captaincy.
it's been a long journey.
but i'm glad that we're where we are now.
though things didn't go in our favour at the end,
i'm glad. really glad. that we are a TEAM.
and im glad that you all feel like part of the team.
the bonds that will carry us through till the next ihg.

i'm glad. and thankful. =)

the greatest human power is our power to be weak.

true. but how we go about utilising this power is still our own choice.
you decide.
whether you're going to let things take control of you.
or whether you're going to step up and take control of things.
the choice is yours.
to give up or not to give up.
the choice is yours.
so near yet so far.
what's your choice gonna be?

i think im getting quite out of focus again.
too much procrastination.
here. there. everywhere.
espcially when i'm already studying so last minute for my modules.
i need start reframing my state of mind soon.
tired. very tired. but i cannot...
cannot give up on my last two modules once tmr's paper is over.
i cannot repeat last semester again.
i must never crash and burn by giving up ever again.
i will not be weak.

if i can't. then i MUST.
jiayou. =)