haha valentines was awesome.

awesome because of the person i spent it with.

indescribable.

the valentines day that meant the most to me after all these years lol =)

hall production was awesome too =)

great weekend. haha =p

yuan's 21st tmr! so exciting =)

the past few days.
difficult to describe.
emotional rollercoaster.
mentally physically emotionally tired.
so tired.
i actually think i crossed into the burnt out zone.
sigh.
accumulation of everything the past couple of months.
i guess what they say is right.
when something big ends for you, suddenly all the accumulated fatigue and frustration just starts pouring out.
and there's no way to stop it.

but i'm glad.
cos at the end of the day,
i'm really proud of my team.
i really couldnt possibly ask for a better team than this.
i'm proud of them for fighting till the last second.
i'm glad that they stood up to the challenge.
i'm thankful for how they came together to help me pull everything back together.
i'm grateful for the support i've received over the past few mths from the team.
the personal emails messages talks. yeah they really meant a lot.
it made the difference between me wanting to give up. or me wanting to push on further.
i only regret that i got too tired towards the end of the captaincy.
it's been a long journey.
but i'm glad that we're where we are now.
though things didn't go in our favour at the end,
i'm glad. really glad. that we are a TEAM.
and im glad that you all feel like part of the team.
the bonds that will carry us through till the next ihg.

i'm glad. and thankful. =)

to cry or not to cry.

haha meet thunder and lightning =)

happy first and many many more to come!

cos you'll always be my thunder =)

haha yet another new year with you! haha =)
haha okie i'm being retarded. but i'm happy =) hahaha...

anddd xin nian kuai le everyone! =)

haha so many things coming up within such a short period of time. so scary.
i really don't know how i'm gonna handle it all =(
first basketball match coming up real soon too.
im scared. im worried. im frightened.
but i cannot be.
it's been a long tiring and draining journey.
i'm so drained, mentally and emotionally tired that
part of me is so so relieved that i'll FINALLY be handing over captaincy soon.
another part of me wants it to last awhile more. cos i believe we can make this happen.
and i know that i cannot possibly give up right at the end.

i really need to pull myself back together.
just for this last leg of the race.
come on.
giving up and letting go is not an option.

hold me close and never let me go =)

yay! dear's 23rd today =)
shall let the pictures do the talking

hahaha yay and thanks mogu and huiling for helping me out =)

oh. no pics of my pretty present =( hahahaha oh well. lalala....

bahhh. my dear is sick =(

please get well soon =)

happy 23rd =)

guess i snapped a little
cried a little today.
but im glad that im safe in your arms.
im glad to know that you're by my side always,
going through thick and thin with me.
thanks dear.

the quieter this place is,
the more i miss you.
please please move back soon dear.
=( =( =(

i couldnt be luckier going into this new year with you. =)
happy 8th day of christmas =) =) =)

so tell me.
why do i always end up being the one having to make the difficult decisions?

hahaha it's been awhile. many gatherings the past few days.

shall let the pictures do the talking.

5th floor outing to minds cafe and clarke quay =)

we loveeee kr d blk 5th floor =)

been spending a lil more time at home these days as well.
midnight mass at st andrews cathedral was pretty insightful. =)

chrismas-es should be like that. haha not stuck alone in hall. =x

yay! the pretty looking logcake at home on xmas =)

dropped by the oac christmas party as well.

loved the talks and the many different insights and opinions into all the different things like marriage and all. =)

haha only that gew and blackie had to leave the dinner halfway to catch their bus to go climb their mountain in malaysia. =x
but still, it was great fun =)

haha yay the 4/2 white christmas at carol's.

pretty nice to see many familiar faces and hahaha all those memories of those little things which used to happen back in secondary schoool. hahaha rocks. =)

and i love carol's =D

and yes, haha that's a crocodile pinata filled with candies. haha how cute is that =p

out to see the singapore flyer and caught a glimspe of the marina barrage with my family before meeting rae weennnnn! haha =D

haha omg our pretty white and silver star-red 2009 diaries from prints.

ex but haha omg so pretty. couldnt help it.

hahahaha! and we bought it as christmas presents for each other too.

hahaha we in we paid for each other's diaries and wished each other merry christmas on the spot.

hahahahahahhaa the sales person seriously had the omg im trying to control myself from bursting into laughter look. LOL. i think she's seriously amused by us. lol.

hahahaha and there we went again buying the same hairband together.

and some other secret stuff too. hahahahaha...

remember buying the same shirt together with rae hui before a couple of christmas-ses ago too.

our last minute white christmas tee buy =)

and a year later pple still ask us where we bought it from hahaha rocks.

haha its no wonder why i miss them when they go overseas.

love the crazy things we do together haha =)

and of course, more importantly, it's.... jean's birthday!

haha hope you had a blast of a birthday =)

oh yes! and haha i passed my basic theory test yesterday too!

haha finally decided to take it after so long.

haha and i had a nice food trail cum shopping session with yuan too! =D

niceee ice cream from shaw towers.

more meetups to come.

too many pple i havent met since like i entered jc or uni.

trying my best to meet all the many many pple i've lost most contact with cos i'm always too busy to be around =(
oh well more trainings to come too...

jiayou ba. =)

i feel as if im being pulled.
stretched from every corner.
way over my yield strength.
why cant anyone give me a break.
leave me alone. just for a moment.
why cant the problems stop coming in one after another.
i cant.
i cant do this.
i cant do this alone.
i cant do this alone anymore.

i miss my neighbours =(
5th floor is a ghost floor.

hur. but haha oh well theres some church camp going on here suddenly.
kinda awkard when they're like omg are you the girl in the lift?
then it gets even more awkard when they ask you that IN the lift itself,
while pointing at that poster =(
omggg. haha sigh oh well.

holidays so equals trainings and more extra stuff.
holidays shouldn't be called holidays =(

alrights its been awhile.
exams are over. and i actually feel relieved.
for the first time since i've stepped into nus.
maybe cos i actually tried to put in a little effort into my academics for once this semester.
just that perhaps spreading it across 6 modules again isnt a very good thing.
but i'm sure it'd be better than last semester. then again. nothing can beat last semester. =(

korea was great. learnt a lot about the history of korea.
always had a thing for listening to stories of the histories of foreign countries. haha =)
met up with so much snow it's scary. snowed non stop for like 5 out of my 7 days there.
even on the tropical island. so much so the locals came out to take a look at it for themselves cos its THAT rare. how lucky.
skiing is my new found sport. rocks. =)
and i'm officially immune to heights. like completely overcome the fear.
though i'd still whine a little here and there. but yup. no more of that heart dropping feeling of freefall. even when bungee-ing. so yups. i guess im over that =)
shall update about korea again another time when i'm a little free-er.
i'm so definitely going back there again =)

first training after the exams was pretty alright i guess. basics, pt. good. i like my team =)
alumni day was... interesting. really do love touch. but my handball is... rarh just put it that i need a lot a lot of training. and i really need to restart running more. ihg is coming =( and so is christmas LOL =p

oh well sigh. just sent in my sep application this afternoon. now typing out my rough timeline for ese camp. while watching grey's anatomy while thinking about tmr's training. and whether src'd have courts. its never gonna stop is it? hoildays. =(

HAHAHA...
i SO SO have to say this.
OMG IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF
I FINISHED THE BIOCHEM SYLLABUS.
like the WHOLE THING.
hahahahahahaa...
and i started studying proper at like 1030pm.
omggg...
managed to finish carbohydrates,
and tagged my textbooks and notes going through the entire syllabus.
super proud of myself. 6 hours straight.
okie with a little bit of geocities. but it was minimal.
hahahaha omggg...
so i CAN be self disciplined afterall should the need arise. =)
haha okie good. now i don't feel THAT underprepared for biochem.
relieved.
at least i know i tried. =)
yayyy... last paper! lets go! =)
jiayou to everyone else still studying! =)

omggg...
so much for managing to cover the statics and mechanics syllabus in time.
suddenly realised it's super late already.
and i've yet to cover what i need to cover.
as in trying out of questions.
omggg...
and my lsmmm. im seriously not gonna touch it until like what a few hrs before the paper?
omggg...
i suddenly feel... quite stressed.
but the only stress i'm seeing now is...
normal stress
shear stress
engineering stress.
die. =(
jiayou. i so cannot afford to flop this module. hur.

the greatest human power is our power to be weak.

true. but how we go about utilising this power is still our own choice.
you decide.
whether you're going to let things take control of you.
or whether you're going to step up and take control of things.
the choice is yours.
to give up or not to give up.
the choice is yours.
so near yet so far.
what's your choice gonna be?

i think im getting quite out of focus again.
too much procrastination.
here. there. everywhere.
espcially when i'm already studying so last minute for my modules.
i need start reframing my state of mind soon.
tired. very tired. but i cannot...
cannot give up on my last two modules once tmr's paper is over.
i cannot repeat last semester again.
i must never crash and burn by giving up ever again.
i will not be weak.

if i can't. then i MUST.
jiayou. =)

haha i'm a very happy girl today! haha =)
so much for being so sad after the ppr cos subway ran out of cookies... haha...
janice and xiuqi bought me the double choc chip cookies =)
jiaying brought us pizza.
weikit and mel brought us mudpies.
oliver's going around with the guitar.
and i just had two bubble teas too.
haha just when you're sad and super sian diao-ed that right after a genetic engineering paper...
you have a paper on... uh. the history of singapore and south east asia.
evolution of a global city state,
people come around making your day.
much love =)
alrights. time to haha start on my history module. though its already haha a little late. lol =)

worried.
worried.
very worried for this module.
i really wonder if what i'm doing now is enough to make up for my midterm flop. =(
i really hope so.
lord please guide me.
100 questions. i can/must be able to do this.
sigh.

oh well. dinnered in engin with shileng today after his fluid mech paper. =)
talking about biathlons,
suddenly realised i havent done one since... january?
and i havent done a triathlon since... forever. omg.
kinda miss the endurance feel of the sport.
should do one soon.
still kinda sad that i'd be missing standard charted. but oh well. family's more important yeah.
random thought: shall try running at 13km/hr flat the next time i use the threadmill since i realised that i can maintain at 12.5 without much problems. =)
good trainings. the faster... the better. the greater the sense of fulfilment. =)
though a little worrying for the op-ed leg ehs. hmm...
haha okie i should so be trying to salvage my tmr's ppr by like studying.
still feeling a little worried that it's not enough =(

oh well. happy picture for the day:














rainbow spotted outside my window the other day! =)

something that shileng told me the other day...
it's a reminder that if you wanna embrace the rainbow,
you must first embrace the rain.

how very true.
alrights. so it's back to mugging and hoping for the best =)
jiayous everyone =)

btw omg this is so good for dna microarrays. super simplified. i declare it idiot proof =)
http://www.bio.davidson.edu/Courses/genomics/chip/chip.html
love it.