shit. im feel so stressed over screwing up waste management.

can't seem to get it off my mind.

please please please give me a B+.

i begggg of you.

don't give me anything below B.

though the more i think of it. looking at the way i answered the questions, the more i think i might have deserved that.

if only i could turn back time =(

someone please pray for me.

arggh. okie. now please make up for it kim.

learn to let go.

you have three chances left.

don't regret.

make it up.

icandothis.

and especially for you, i won't give up. as promised =)

sigh the more i think about it,

the worse i think i fared for my waste management paper that day.

not just the 20 mark calculation that i couldn't do.

but also the crappy answers that i gave even though i knew what was going on. =(

pls pls don't let me drop too many grades.

b+ will do for me =) (though now i think i need a miracle to get that =( )

sigh okie make up for it with microbio air and water. come on.

focussss O.O

stressedddd =(

haha yay! and im halfway through.

and i got my two wastewater quizzes back =)

and i realised i've scored 31.5 out of the 35 % possible that we've gotten back.

omggg. ifff my individual proj turns out fine... and i can somehow keep it up and do well for my final paper... YAY!

the most important module to me now cos i wanna major in that.

alrights. but i'll only touch it after microbiology and air pollution control are over.

and i must must stop slacking and playing so much. time to focus.

tmr will be a better day =)

okieee... to a crazily xiong week ahead...

I CAN DO THIS.

i really really want/need my honours.

and i really hope you do well too =)

you're my inspiration =p

okay. two days wasted.

gone to procrastination.

come on kim pull yourself together.

just four more.

you can do it.

you're almost there.

make tomorrow a better day.

tomorrow will be a good day.

icandoiticandoiticandoit

a new template because i think i need a change =)

icandothisicandothisicandothis

sigh. i broke down again last night.

for the umpteen-th time this semester

i'm so disappointed with myself

it's only the second paper but i'm already feeling so tired and burnt out.

but i can't let go now.

i know my content well.

but i'm putting too much pressure on myself to do well this sem.

so much so i actually think that's the reason why i can't perform during the papers itself.

anddd it's making it difficult for me to fall asleep at night.

even when i'm so so tired.

i need to find a way out

to get past the final four papers well

especially the final three which mean the most to me.

if i stop will you push me on?

will you reassure me that i can do this on my own?

oh gosh. i feel so worried for tmr's exam =(

I WANT MY CHEATSHEET. bahhh

i feel insecure =(

and here comes the start of my 6 ppr marathon.

wish me luck =(

ps: i miss you.

i'm getting so distracted, so unfocused and so tired this half of the semester that i really don't know what to do anymore.

maybe i really overloaded too much this sem.

maybe i'm just expecting too much out of myself.

maybe i'm just too tired.

to much work to do, so many other things to handle. so many other problems.

try being me for a day. maybe you'll understand.

finally finally finished the super undoable past year quiz.

so so ridiculous.

at least i figured it out. but still.

pls pls pray for me. that i won't flunk tmr's test =(

cos i really wanna specialise in that.

and my four labs in a day tmr. omg.

830am labs are unearthly hours.

to the long long day ahead.

lord, please carry me through.

yayness! kim is a happy girl today.

cos he met me twice today!

and both times more than the occasional 5-10mins we might have together here and there per week. =)

water and wastewater engineering test tmr. i need... to do well. =(

4 labs per day for this week. madness. and you wonder why i always disappear.

pls pls get me past this week...

nine and counting to many more ahead =)

cos the best times are when it's just you and me =)

sigh.

of course.

of course i mind.

=(

but it won't make a difference anyway.

sometimes i cant help it.

i'm trying my best to cope.

but it really doesn't when my neighbour's bf is ard everyday.

and i see him so much more often than you.

i don't expect to see you everyday.

i know that's not possible.

but this is making it v difficult for me.

i really wish i could just close my door and go without a care in the world.

but i can't.

so everyday i miss you.

and everyday i miss you more and more.

and i find it even more difficult when we hardly talk.

i need you to reply me. cos it helps to keep me going.

yet i can't tell you all of this.

because i know i need to be stronger.

to carry myself through this sem on my own.

I GOT ACCEPTED BY SEMBCORP! =D

for my industrial attachment.

not bad quite surprised since they have only 3 interns this year.

of which only 2 are from environmental engineering.

pls pls plsss let them give me the right jobscope.

let it be the one im interested in...

pleaseeeeeeee...

is on the verge of tears.

and the dearie came to have lunch with me today.
even though it was a pretty short lunch,
you have no idea how glad i am to see you.
i missed that safe feeling being in your arms.
i missed you trying to pinch my nose.
i missed you. a lot.

YAY! and today i get koi bubble tea from my neighbour rachel. =)
and i had oreo mc flurry with mogu this afternoon =)
ooh and now kelvin and his big pack of maltesers! =)
people are giving me happy food everyday to bring down my stress level which is like way past yielding strength.
but AH WELL. i dont mind. it cheers me up =)


ps: i secretly appreciate even the smallest things. i'm that kind of girl.
i love my friends! =D

so so much to do. so many things due. =(

yayyeeee! sze sian came over to visit with a rocking snow skin mooncake! =D
reminds me of the time when the oacians came over with popeyes and tiramisu to cheer me up during reading week when i was on the brink of giving up back in year 1 sem 2.
enjoyed the talk. much needed. in a much better mood now =)
yayyy even when all else falters, my oacians never fail to make my day at the right times.
i loveee my oacians =)
<3

freaking stressed.
yesterday i bought 5 small mooncakes as comfort food.
they're all gone.
the chocolate in my fridge. which is technically on my table now is quickly disappearing.
i am damn stressed.
i need people to periodically talk to me.
i don't care whether it's by msg, by phone or face to face.
but theres no one to talk to. except for this old trustworthy blog of mine which has yet to fail me..
no one will ever understand.
i. feel. like. a. ticking. timebomb.

and that non-stop ringing sound is driving me crazy.

sometimes when i ask for something, i don't expect you to say yes.
yes, i hate it when you say no so directly and flatly. and the words that come along with it.
like at most that day dun come lor. i have nothing to lose.
it secretly hurts me inside. a lot. like really a lot.
perhaps this is just goes to show how lousy i am.
i can't even get you to compromise or give in. not even a little sacrifice.
just for a day.
when i request for something, i don't even need you to say yes.
all i need at the end of the day is for you to say maybe. see how it goes. or i'll think about it.
to me that's already a compromise.
that's good enough for me.
but i can't even get that.
i must be really really lousy.