everytime i see the fire coming from the island near me...
my heart drops.
i just want the best for you.

haha and over dinner today...
we were trying to recall when we first started dating before we went official.
anddd we cant recall. haha think it was too long before lol =p

anyway dinner was great!
Ricciotti Pizza Pasta & Deli! =p
italian foodfare along singapore river ftw! =D

Antipasto Riccioti

some pretty good chardonay

Tagliomini with Scallops in Spicy Tomato Sauce

Red Snapper Cooked Acqua Pazza Style with Prawns, Capers, Olive & Herbs

Tiramisu

awesomeee dinner. the pictures don't do enough justice. the food was impressive =D

watched "when in rome" as well.
pretty good show! had a good laugh =D

and it's an early 15th month celebration =D
15th out of the many more to come <3

今天很难过
昨天也是很难过
明天也是会很难过
天天都很难过

and i think a part of me just died when i heard that

i have no motivation to graduate anymore.
there's just nothing to look forward to anymore.
no reason to work to hard.
to choing my studies anymore.
there's nothing at the finish line.
nothing i want waiting for me anymore.

i don't want to go there just because everyone's going there.

i want to go there because i've always dreamt of doing it.
to graduate from a university, take a couple of weeks and backpack europe.
backpack europe.
sounds silly but
i already wanted that even before i entered university

i'm not angry. i'm not anything.
it's just a little hard when this is something i've dreamt of for like half my life.
i just need a little space. a little time.

now everything just feels kind of.
empty.

it's amazing how it makes my day just seeing you smile into the screen =)
<3

hey apple.

hey apple.

hey apple.

NOTHING!

HAHAHAHAHAA

hey apple.

hey apple.

hey apple.

HAHAHAHA i'm sooo addicted to annoying orange.

its so irritatingly funny.

and funnily irritating

and irritatingly funny.

and funnily irritating.

hahahahahaha OMG.

in the unfamiliar crowd, you're the only face i wanna see.

after a day at work,

seeing you just for that 5 minutes or so

feels like the best thing in the world =)

that look on your face

and that warm embrace

makes everything feel better again

i could live in this forever =)

hehe yeah! another great day with you! =D

alice in wonderland is not too bad! pretty good! =)

but if i were a kid, i'd cry after watching it.

all the pretty and cute little characters in that fairytale land that you're been reading about

all suddenly transformed into evil looking creatures with morbid scenes of alice in the wonderland

total nightmare for the kids (hence the very important PG sign)

haha anyway I still wanna get the cute forever friends bear mug =D

when i see it wahaha =p

ps: i hate e-learning week haha =(

okie. i think i've cooled down.
mood swinging these couple of days.
i always blog only when i'm fiesty. heh.
but i still do mean what i write. just in a less fiesty feel.

i mean it's not all bad.
i still appreciate it when you always remember to buy me sth to eat and drop it at my seat before night class starts cos you know i've no time to grab anything to eat,
when you brought me to see the doc and took care of me when i wasn't feeling well
even the smallest thing like your early morning good morning messages or spot checks to see if i've left hall so that i won't be late for work.
even the smile you give me when you look me in the eyes.
they really do make my day =)

i know i'm not very good at expressing how i feel.
i always keep things inside. keep you guessing.
so i write them down for now
it's just the littlest things which trouble me at times.
but it's a start. i'll keep learning. and trying not to keep you in the dark.
thank you though for listening me out,
for everything you've done for me too
and of course for loving me =)
<3

so many different feelings which i can never put into words.

guess that's why i always keep them in.

guess i've put off writting this for a long time already.

but i guess it just hit me harder than usual today.

even the simplest things. like walking me back to kr from biz after class. thats like what. across the road? not even a 5 mins walk. it's a waste of time. it can't be done.

from central lib back to hall. don't want to walk me back cos it's a waste of time too? fine.

even if you wanted to cab back from there. after accompanying you, it wouldn't hurt to ask the uncle to just drop me off at kr before heading back right? it wouldn't even take 5 mins of the uncle's driving time/your driving time.

you'd rather let me walk back alone at night.

the 5 mins which you'd probably spend watching tv. sitting. stoning. chatting. i don't know what else.

you know. i meant every word when i said you'd never send me back if i was going home home.

this is the reason why i'm so confident about that.

it's not about the sending back.

it's about everything else. everything else that you don't see.

especially when i try so hard.

you know whenever i know i'm going to be a little late to meet you.

i'll cab down cos that few mins i could save to spend with you was that important to me.

how i will plan my schedule or even cancel/rearrange timings/put on hold gatherings just because i know i have a chance of spending that little bit of time with you.

you have no idea.

i guess after everything.

it just hurts to know that i'm not even worth 5 minutes of your time.

not even 5 minutes.

i'm that insignificant.

but you will never understand.

a little bit sad.

a little bit disappointed.

don't really know what to feel for now.

but it's okay. i'll survive.

that's life. i guess.

i guess it's kind of weird. and i shouldn't be thinking like this.
but these couple of days, i've been wondering...
if hardcore engineering is really for me.

i mean i like it. but i don't know.
guess it's just the momentary feeling of uncertainty.
though i really think that i can still do so much more if given the chance.

yeah cny's been good.

another hectic day today running from mum's side to elaine's house for the interns cny gathering and finally to dearie's place.

life's good.

feeling more at ease... feeling more of the family feel at his side. i like that comfortable feeling =)

enjoyed myself loads. fav cny stop of the season =)

his turn to come over tmr! yay means i get to see you again! =D

haha this is turning out to be quite a good break from everything =)

hello =)

it's been awhile.
it's been a hectic couple of weeks.
weeks, days, hours zooming past me with the blink of an eye.

life's been good. tiring trying but good.
internship's been awesome.
wastewater's getting more and more intriguing
water or wastewater? wastewater hands down.
enjoying evey moment of this IA. though its really tiring to juggle it with night classes, late night chingay practices and other random stuff.
can't wait till chingay's over (soon soon yesssahhh! =p)
intern cny gathering tmr =)
pretty thankful that we're quite a close bunch of interns (probably partially cos there are so few of us)
was initially quite apprehensive to be the only environmental engineering student going to SUT. only kinda spelt lonely to me at that time. haha ah well. but i'm glad we cliqued. we're even going for an intern holiday in late july. =p anddd im learning chinese bit by bit everyday. and french too. i'm gonna be tri-lingual at the end of this internship man. yessah. lol =p
great bunch of intern friends, great supervisors and collegues who never fail to make me smile no matter how tired i am. what more could i ask for =)
and gosh think my little problem with heights is partially back.
that day on top of the isotanker. got that little panicky feeling deep down inside. something i haven't felt in awhile.
think i've been off high elements for too long. gotta do something about it.
go do more bungee thingys, rock climbing, roller coasters, climbing up trees that kinda stuff.
sometimes i think.. i'm quite... man-ly LOL =x sometimes. only. yeah. haha =x















a little chingay preview haha =p

and during this period of time, someone grew muchhh older.
someone's almost... just almost a quarter of a century old now. hahaha
(okie now you're gonna kill me for rubbing it in again lol)
and here comes his four part surprise =)














good spanish food, good ambience and good company. lol.















ta-da! twenty four! haha and my really melted lemon cheesecake =s



















his favourite rarh =)



















haha the fourth part... shall remain as a secret. LOL. =p

ahaha ah well. anyway xin nian kuai le people! =D
great break to recharge a lil before chingay comes at full force =s haha

back to ia reporting it is =p

alrights.
this sucks.
there's a reason why i don't play bball anymore.
and there's a bigger reason why i never stepped into that same court again.
to have to stand there and watch something that looked precatiously like the match last year was heart wrenching.
the same looks the same cheers the same omg feeling the same feeling heartdrop feeling each time the ball falls through that hoops.
painful to watch.
i hate competitions.
but then again. it's probably just how a captain feels.
after going through so much. training the team. leading the team. it hurts to watch it all end just like this.
sometimes you wonder if you could have done more. even though deep inside you already know that you tried your best.

2010 Yearly Horoscope, for Virgo

Overview
Whew! Feel that enormous burden sliding off of your shoulders, like you've been carrying around an overstuffed backpack for the last couple of years? That would be Saturn, planet of structures and limitation, moving out of your sign. Congratulations, first of all, on having simply made it through more or less in one piece. You passed through the fire and made it out the other side.Now, what to do with that spiritual Medal of Honor you've earned? Well, for one thing, establish who it is you really are with both yourself and those around you. Your ability to quietly endure both the big and little outrages of life have served you well in the last couple of years, and many of those around you may have come to assume that either it wasn't as rough on you as it was, or that you are somehow made of steel. In fact, you may have come to the same conclusion yourself. Virgo has a reputation for being able to take care of others with the best of them -- but can you turn that same care and attention on yourself? That's the big question you'll be facing in 2010.The good news (beyond simply less bad news) is that there will be all kinds of opportunities opening up for you in new directions as far as fun, recreation and romance. So take advantage of those whenever you can. You've earned it!

Romantic
This is the year that everything changes, one way or another! Saturn has left your sign, so you aren't feeling as weighed down by life as you once were. Pluto is transiting your Romance House, bringing revolutionary changes to your love life and your romantic pursuits. And, to top it all off, two eclipses hit your romance sector.The first of the two happens in January, and makes for a major shift that will carry on throughout the first few months of the year. If you are currently in a stable committed relationship, be prepared for some jolts. Don't panic just yet; the jolt will be of a temporary nature, but could bring long-standing issues to the surface that need to be addressed for the sake of the relationship.Then in July, a second eclipse will liven things up again. Unlike the previous eclipse that landed in your House of Committed Relationships, this one affects your House of Love Received. Certainly if you are in a long-term relationship at the time, it will be affected. But even if you aren't, don't be surprised if new romantic potentials appear out of nowhere -- or from a direction you didn't expect.If you are in a committed relationship, the first month of the year is generally good. Then from February onwards, Jupiter rolls into your Eighth House. This brings a new emphasis on the physical side of your relationship. A bit of a caution though: this doesn't necessarily just mean your partner. Whether it's appropriate or not, prepare to be hit on a lot.

Career
The big news for Virgo this year for work and money is not so much an onslaught of good news as it is the release of tremendous pressure. Neither Saturn nor Pluto have done you any favors in the last two years. Fortunately for you, they've both moved on to make economic trouble for someone else. The next year of your financial life should run far more smoothly than you've gotten used to, and your perseverance will be rewarded in 2010.Part of the gains you'll be making will be as a result of good old-fashioned penny-pinching and money management. Whether you had a natural inclination that way before, you will find that you have newfound talents in the wise spending department.Your personal earning ability will also be improving in the next year. April and May will bring opportunities for you to either shine within the context of the job you already have, or to reach out and find something new. There are no particular warning signs for the next year, but you may want to start giving some real thought to what the next logical step should be on your career path. If there is one downside to the work year ahead, it's a nagging doubt that you are in the right place and using your talents to your advantage. The last three months of the year in particular -- the holiday rush season in many lines of work -- may find you questioning whether your current position is the best for you. Do your groundwork, and opportunities will present themselves at this time.

haha HMM quite true quite true.

especially the overview. and the romantic too. january haha interesting haha mmm

ah well. back to work =)

the most elating day.

yet the most heartbreaking day.

i'm lucky to be doing water operations in sembcorp.

but i don't know what to do.

my heart is in pieces.

so where do we go from here?

haha so many things happening this week.

i'm beginning to lose track of everything's that going on.

many many things to do.

ah well...

and i realised i really don't have a i'm from engin look. =S

no one has ever been able to guess my faculty without prompting -_-

haha funny conversation that occurred over the week:

lady: are you from nus as well?

me: yup i'm nus too... engineering =)

lady: *gasps in shock*

me: haha yuppp engineering

lady: but you don't look like an engineer... too fashionable.. too...

me: haha yeah i get that a lot. that i don't look like i'm from engin

lady: whoa... so do you really like what you're studying? does it interest you?

me: *laughs away* yes engin's quite interesting and yes i'm really from engin ahahaha

ahaha thanks ar. still ask whether i like what i study haha. omg. i'm really from engin can =s

talking about that... my CAP's up by another 0.2! =D

not as much as i'd have hoped it'd improve but ah well. not too bad of a jump still.

jumped 0.65 over the last 3 semesters. can't complain ehs.

though cos it wasn't as good as expected...

some hopes are completely dashed and left for the dumps. ah well. forget it.

just a lil worried that IA's gonna further stall my CAP.

ah well... talking about IA...

i still haven't gotten enough working clothes.

or shoes or whatsoever. uh oh. and i don't seem to have a lot of time left =s

AHH... so fast so fast...

ANDDD i think i'm gonna be awed at the sight of the jurong island wastewater and cogeneration treatment plants. saw about 3 photos and i'm whoa-ed already...

anddd their technology sounds pretty impressive! =D

the high efficiency anaerobic biogranulation technology sounds good.

the advanced fluid composting too!

really can't wait to see it in action.

this is so exciting =D

i have a lottt to learn! =)

and andddd they're building the world's largest water reclaimation plant in CHANGI! =D=D=D

ohmygosh they're technologies are =D=D=D im excited excited excited! =D

oh gosh i'm crazily tired. cycled the entire day with my youngest bro.

even in the rain haha whichhh reminds me of the time you came and it

rained while we cycled haha probably the last time i cycled too hahas

cycled up and down up and down ecp... anddd dropped by the fairprice to buy some groceries as well. the random decision to cook dinner =D

ah so much for clearing up my messy room. haha

cooking was fun! =) cooked a korean dinner. wahaha i likeee =D

haha and it looked redder than the picture does =p

and we even decided to roast a whole chicken for the fun of it. haha

a lil burnt on the outside though cos the oven's heating thingy was a tad too difficult to control =( ah well still tasted not tooo bad =)

or at least my bro liked it.

realised my bro really likes all these cook/bake together kinda

stuff. haha =p

and... HURRAY! you're back! =D=D=D

and i somehow loveeee this pic of us... from the day we went prawning =D

hehe... alrights... terribly exhausted. my bobbie brown town appointment and chingay dance tmr! =D

i'm happy! and i cant wait to see you again. when i see you. ah well but you're backkk! =D thats all that matters now =p the feeling's different... yayeeee! =)

and so another day passed =)
met up with my ij-rians.
manhatten fished-ed with wanting rachel yanling dorothy and jean at marina square and celebrated jean's 21st in advanace at the same time as well
not too bad. had some nice jap ice cream from there too =)
headed down to the book fair at suntec! and omggg got 5 new books to read. figured i should do something more with my spare time rather than taptap haha.
and i even got this really cute chinese handbooks. haha spent quite long laughing at it (realised my chinese is not thatttt bad after all. but that's relative yeah. lol.) it has the cutest phrases! haha high time to start trying to improve my chinese =s i NEED to start being able to hold a proper conversation with your fam! haha hmmm my new aim-relearn chinese

and and omg i keep seeing the mitch albon book that you were reading. now im so so tempted to read it too! hahaha shall borrow a little faith from you soon =D

got my fossil watch back! nice and repaired. and i finally called bobbie brown for my makeup lesson after half a year of procrastination lol =s about time. wed! =) should be interesting

and it was back to kr for chingay dance. so far so good. it's pretty interesting actually. learning steps much faster than before. anddd i can do the warm up! wahaha must be the last many months of jazz lol =p cant wait till chingay comes =p

anddd i learnt something new -> d block's 2nd floor gate can be opened as long as you're a kr alumni. haha the card's coded forever ahahaha =x

guessing i should go catch some sleep real soon. supposed to go for an early morning walk/jog with my mum. declaring tomorrow a stay home day. hahas. and yesss you're coming back! =D yay! <3