and so we have welcomed in 2011.

2010 has been an interesting one.

many ups and perhaps even more downs.

many tests. many questions. many trials and tribulations.

but still we all got through it.

what 2011 will bring will be even more interesting in a different sense.

2011 will be the mark of great changes.

transition from university undergrads to graduates

from the carefree lives we spend to joining the tax paying community.

everyone will start to go in their own directions.

who knows when we will meet again.

2011 will be a trial for the greatest of friendships.

i for one have never been able to manage this well.

when the work piles buildup, it is difficult to make time.

but i'm learning. and i'll keep trying.

because even though i never speak of it, each friendship means a lot to me.

so if you suddenly start hearing more from me, i hope we reignite the times we had together in the past, no matter how different our current circumstances have become.

tested and weathered. i hope our friendships last. i hope they're strong enough to brave the storms ahead.

2011 will be tough. very tough.

but, with faith and strength, we will get through.

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want;
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the
Lord forever.

Psalm 23

sometimes you wonder.
will it all last?
will it be a happy ever after?

some part of me wishes it still.
some part of me just doesn't know anymore.

i'm trying very hard. trying not to slip away.
but i'm confused. i somehow feel void of feeling inside.

each time i tell you why i'm unhappy or worried and you put me down in someway or another, it hurts inside. it's like i'm never as important never as good enough. everything i do is second class to you and your course. it has always hurt me.
each time you refused to answer me if i asked if you loved me, it's like a stab in the heart.
each time you don't want to kiss me properly, it's like a double stab in the heart.
each time you talk about demerit points or anything i lose what i've been fighting for.

each time i tell you subtly it's to help you to help me to stop drifting away.
to stop slipping away.
i wish you understood.
since that day a year ago when you said you said you couldn't see us in the future,
i guess a part of me had already died permanently.
i try to act like i can. but i can't anymore.
i'm trying very hard.
but i still feel feel i'm getting snappier i'm losing it i'm drifting.
are you gonna help me out?
or are you gonna let me slide away into oblivion?

FYP

Hurray! And the FYP interim is finally over. Such a huge load off my mind :) and I'm so glad to have come out unscattered. Still a little in disbelief that it went so smoothly. Can finally holiday in peace! Hurray! :D

Here we go just lose control and let your body get into the beat

And when December comes I'm gonna holiday, FYP and dance my time away...

Reggae jazz salsa foxtrot samba which few should I try? :D

Isn't it weird when you suddenly realized how much you missed working with those guys?

Isn't it weird when you open an old folder and suddenly all the memories of those 6 months come flooding back in?

Isn't it weird when you suddenly realize that you'd trade it all to do it all once again?

Oh gosh...

becauseimfeelingrandom

life as it is for engineering students






\

And it all begins

And the job search begins...

hoho design presentation tmr!
i hope our one sem worth of hard work pays off!
wish me luck =)

FYP woes

So now we all know the F in FYP stands for fucked up.

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it:

We say: “It’s impossible.”
God says: “All thing are possible.” (Luke 18:27)

We say: “I’m too tired.”
God says: “I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28-20)

We say: “Nobody really loves me.”
God says: “I love you.” (John 3:16, John 13:34)

We say: “I can’t go on.”
God says: “My grace is sufficient.” (II Corinthians 12:9, Psalm 91:15)

We say: “I can’t figure things out.”
God says: “I will direct your steps.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

We say: “I can’t do it.”
God says: “You can do all things.” (Philippians 4:13)

We say: “It’s not worth it.”
God says: “It will be worth it.” (Romans 8:28)

We say: “I can’t forgive myself.”
God says: “I forgive you.” (I John 1:9, Romans 8:1)

We say: “I can’t manage.”
God says: “I will supply all your needs.” (Philippians 4:19)

We say: “I’m afraid.”
God says: “I have not given you a spirit of fear.” (II Timothy 1:7)

We say: “I’m always worried and frustrated.”
God says: “Cast all your cares on ME.” (I Peter 5:7)

We say: “I don’t have enough faith.”
God says: “I’ve given everyone a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)

We say: “I’m not smart enough.”
God says: “I give you wisdom.” (I Corinthians 1:30)

We say: “I feel all alone.”
God says: “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

-- Source Unknown


in times of weakness, the lord is my strength.

so wake up, wake up dreaming =)

the crossroads

to hold on or to let go?
there comes a point when you start feeling so worn out. so tired
to give it up or to keep trying?
the dilemma.

quoting it from liesel's friend (changing the profession of course to engineering)

engineering is like shoes
not just any pair of shoes
but the best and prettiest pair of heels you've ever seen
you know you want it
you know it's meant to be on your feet
you know it's the shoe of your dreams
but then you put it on 
and it hurts so bad
causes you blisters and callouses
makes your feet hurt
some people fit it just right
slip right in
but no not you
and people around you compliment them
you just smile through the pain
but they are still the shoes of your dreams
everyday you get up and they are all you want to wear
they may not fit just right
but you love them anyway
because you know you just have to break them in
so even though it hurts at first
you know it's the shoe of your dreams
you know their meant to be on your feet
the beautiful ones are
ones that hurt the most

how true. i just need to try a little harder. try to break them in.
it'll be worth it at the end of the day.
when i get back into the jumpsuit and enter the plant,
when i stand on top of the tanks, looking down at the most breathtaking sceneries one can imagine, knowing that this is where i wanna be.

i gotta push on. can't let a few disappointments, no matter how big they may be, steer me off the path to my dreams.

i gotta be strong. i gotta move on. and i gotta push on.
it'll be worth it. i swear.

i'm lagging in everything now. but i have the choice. you don't.
so you said to me.
what makes you think that i haven't been trying.

i'm inadequate i know.
thank you for reinforcing it.

somehow, today, i feel lonelier than ever

too tired out too fast
it's just not right

talk about double standards

I'm just never as important. I never will be

a nus legacy,
a kent ridge-ian history.

history was made tonight.

YAY and i got my first choice for FYP! =)

Biosorption Optimization for Organic Pollutants Removal in Wastewater

this is gonna be a good year =)

imagine if 4 years ago,
i had chosen to go to ntu accountancy.
today i'd have graduated with a much better cap (at least i knew what i wanted out of it), commenced, worn the graduation gown and probably started working.

but then again,
i wouldn't have met this many awesome people.